In his daughter's eyes
by Marina Ka-Fai
Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 1**

Married at 22, a father at 23 and a widow at 26. That wasn't how Lancel Lannister had planned his life to turn out. In an ideal world, his wife would be still alive and they'd raise their daughter together, maybe they'd even have another baby together, perhaps a little boy. Though he didn't really care about the gender. He looked at the clock as he finished parking near the school.

"Fuck, I'm late... I hope she hasn't waited for me for too long..."

An urgent matter at work had caught up with him as he was getting ready to fetch his daughter at school and if he was just five minutes late, he knew how his little Lelia felt when she knew he had to drive and was late. Her mother, his first love, Elora, had died in a car accident two years ago. Some drunkard had refused her the priority and he was driving way too fast. What eased him a bit was knowing she died right away, she didn't have the time to suffer, to feel her life escaping her body. And while Lelia was still so little at that time, she seemed to remember what caused her mother's death and she was never at ease when her father had to drive alone.

"I didn't even have the time to call the school, to have her know I was on my way... Damn, I'm such an idiot!"

He started to make his way in the building and was more than relieved to see his precious little girl in a normal state. Actually, she didn't seem to have noticed he was late, as she was playing with dolls along with a girl of her age, with black hair and blue eyes. They were the last ones in the classroom. Lancel noticed the piece of paper near the coats. One had the name Nymeria Waters on it.

"Waters? Sounds familiar... That's right! Gendry's daughter! The one he had with Arya Stark. While unmarried, I hope Sansa and her mom didn't have a heart attack when it happened."

He didn't care about such details, but to know other people did made him laugh, it sounded so medieval. Yes, he was married when he became a father but not because he wanted to be married first. It simply happened that way.

"Lelia, your father is here." The teacher sweetly said before adding that Nymeria's parents were also here

"Daddy!" The little girl shouted as she ran for a hug, a hug he gladly offered

Nymeria went to her parents and took Gendry's hand before reaching for Arya's. Arya took it too. Lancel could see she wanted to remain her true self while being loving to Nymeria. He found that admirable.

"Daddy can you help me, please?" Lelia asked

She always had troubles with the zippers on her coat. He knelt and closed it for her.

"We have to go get some groceries before we go home. But if you are tired, I can drop you at Uncle Willem's place and fetch you when I am done." Lancel explained

"I'll go with you. I can carry the bags." She offered

He smiled and they made their way to the car. Lancel looked at her. She was always so sweet, so polite, so well behaved... That it scared him. Lelia had always been an easy child, who did some mischief, like any other children of her age, but ever since Elora died, she had became the child who never did anything wrong. It worried him. He was afraid she was holding back so that he wouldn't have to deal with more work, as it was just the of them now. He knew it was certainly unconscious, she couldn't have planned it, she was too young, but he feared she was missing out on being a kid so that it would be easier for him. Never a tantrum, never a curse word, always obedient, more like a pet than a child. He felt as if he was failing her. It was his role to protect her, not the other way around. Strolling in the store's alleys, he could see her gazing at many things, the candies, the toys, but she didn't touch anything. An object fell, as her arm was too close from the shelf. She stopped, took the object and put it back. He smiled. He didn't know many five years old who did that. Even Janei. Janei did it when she was pointed out she had made something fall. Lelia did it on her own.

"What are we going to eat tonight, Daddy?" She asked

"I was thinking of pasta with salmon." He replied

"And cream?" She asked again, sounding excited. It was her favourite dish.

"And lots of cream." He promised, half laughing

"Yay!"

As they were walking to pay, Lancel heard two women speaking of them behind them. He had recognized them, Beth Cassel and Jeyne Poole. They were nice people but they weren't discrete and didn't realize that their gossips could hurt.

"It's been two years since Elora passed away, isn't it? Yet, Lancel still hasn't found someone else."

"He definitely should. He's handsome, he likes kids, he has a good situation."

"And besides, his daughter needs a mother figure. As good as he can be, he could never be as good as a mother can. A father cannot replace a mother or be both."

His hands tightened around the caddy's rod. He knew he couldn't replace Elora. Still, he couldn't understand why people thought a single father couldn't handle raising a child. So many women did! So why couldn't he? Because he was born with a penis instead of a vagina? His daughter never lacked food, food he cooked out from scratches, he made sure she had her share of vegetables, she always had clean and proper clothes, he knew how to do her hair, everything a mother did, he could do. And two years, that wasn't that long.

"I hate them." He could hear Lelia whisper

"You shouldn't, Princess. They are not mean. They just worry. But they don't say it the right way."

"I don't need a new mommy. I have you."

"And I have you."

 _XXXXX_

Lancel kissed Lelia's forehead as she had fallen asleep after he had read her a bedtime story. She was into Snow White these days, it appeared. He looked at her sleeping form. She looked like an angel. The strength of the love he had for her still surprised him. She was all he had, she was priceless and he wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. He left her, but as he was walking down the corridor, he felt dizzy.

"Not again..."

He had felt unwell for weeks now.

"I'll be on vacation soon, it will pass..."

Or so he hoped. It was getting worse. He slept, but didn't feel refreshed or rested when he woke up, when he actually managed to sleep. He was catching colds on colds, he had bad and lasting headaches, and lacked appetite. Between his work and taking care of Lelia, he didn't grant himself some time for his own pleasure. Lelia's pleasure made his pleasure, he didn't need special time for himself.

"Yeah, it will be better when I have my days off. When I don't have to run all day, when it will be just Lelia and me, having fun."

He lied down on his bed and closed his eyes.

That night was a night when sleep was kind enough to take him into account in its schedule.

 **To Be Continued**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 2**

As he was about to leave his car, freshly parked, Lancel felt dizzy again.

"Shit..."

It was becoming more and more usual for him to feel that way. He forced himself to take a bite from an apple he had taken with him. The mere idea of eating made him sick. However, if he wanted to last the day, he knew he had to force himself. He took five minutes to rest and he decided to face the world, trying his best to put on a good face. The rest of the world didn't care about what he was feeling inside. Only the outside mattered. He started to head towards his job. The wind was cold, it helped in waking him up more.

"Lancel?"

Startled as he was in his thoughts, he turned to face a younger version of himself. His little brother, Willem's twin, Martyn.

"Hey Martyn."

"It's been a while! I'm so sorry I haven't kept in touch." Martyn apologized

Lancel only smiled. He knew Martyn was busy, still in his studies, in his last year to become a university teacher. Out of their parents' four children, he was the one with the biggest brains. Willem had decent grades but he prefered making, the theory bored him. Janei, while still in school, was a good student, she didn't have straight A's, but she made their parents proud. As for him, if he was no idiot, if he had managed to graduate with honours, he admitted with no shame that Martyn outsmarted them all. Martyn loved books, he loved learning, and it made sense he was the one with the longest time in college.

"How's my favourite niece?" He asked

"Lelia is your only niece."

"That's why she's my favourite!"

The father chuckled.

"She's doing great. Befriended Arya Stark's daughter."

"That doesn't surprise me one bit. She's like her mom, she befriends everyone."

When he saw Lancel's eyes, Martyn mentally slapped himself. He had said it without thinking and it was true, Lelia had inherited her mother's heart and spirit. But he could see in his sibling's eyes that her death still hurt him and despite the two years that had gone by, it was still as fresh as if it had occurred the previous day. However, that flash of pain quickly vanished and he smiled, acknowledging she had it and that he was happy she did. Martyn looked at his older brother. He hadn't seen him in four months, so of course he had changed, but his appearance shocked him. He had lost weight. While he wasn't particulary coloured back in the days, he was so pale it looked unhealthy. Above all, he looked so tired, he was afraid he'd break if he touched him. He reminded him of a ghost. He wasn't living. He was surviving. And if it wasn't for Lelia, Martyn would be visiting his grave. He still had his wedding ring on his finger, despite the time that had passed by.

"Do Mom and Dad know of this?" He wondered

He knew Lancel wasn't the type of man to go and ask for help, believing others needed assistance more than he did, putting himself behind everyone because he thought he wasn't worthy of being put first. It had faded as he grew up, but that was still part of him.

"I'll leave you be, don't want to make you late."

They parted but Martyn changed his destination. The library could wait. Lancel's health, however, seemed on the verge of collapsing.

 _XXXXX_

Martyn's tale seemed so unreal to his parents. Yet, they couldn't say he was wrong. They hadn't seen Lancel in a while. He had been busy between his work, his girl and actually moving out. Lelia didn't seem to mind leaving and she hadn't hated the idea of living somewhere else. It was more about Lancel unable to live in a place that reminded him so much of his dead wife. After a while, it had become a burden for him and when he told them he was moving out, they had felt he was going in the right direction, leaving the past behind, moving on in Life. He had found a nice little house, it was near Lelia's school, not too far from his work and he had almost everything around, in a quiet neighborhood. They had thought he was finally making peace with what happened and starting to live truly again. That, and the fact that he was finally freed of noisy and uncivilized neighbors.

But here they stood, listening to their younger son, telling them how dreadful Lancel looked, how worried he was. A bitter taste came in their mouthes.

They had failed Lancel.

They had failed him so much, they had been so blind, Martyn had to wake them up.

True, Lancel didn't share much of his feelings with them, he kept everything to himself and when he dared ask for help, it always seemed painful for him, as if he was sorry for bothering, as if he was sorry for even existing. Kevan could remember himself gently scolding him because Lancel was sorry for making him helping him with unpacking. Yes, he was old, but he wasn't invalid, he could still help around, and that was his job to help his children. Even almost blind and in a wheelchair, he'd still help the best he could. Lancel knew it, so why did he feel so awful in asking them for help? And above all, why didn't he go and see a doctor?! Not that he blamed him, he too was guilty of that, but according to Martyn, it was worse than letting a bad cold running its course. What was he afraid of? That Lelia was going to be taken away because he wouldn't be seen as someone able to care for her? That Lelia was going to hate him because he was unwell and thus unable to be there for her as much? That he couldn't allow himself to be unwell because he was alone? For Heaven's sake, he wasn't alone! But yet again, he had to ask for help, something he never dared doing, or rarely. What was going on in that head of his? Lancel's mind wasn't particulary hard to follow, but his son had a tendancy of thinking too much.

"That's a good thing Willem invited us over." Kevan thought "Lancel will be there. That way, I do not bother him while he's genuinely busy but also, he cannot dodge the subject."

He just hoped they wouldn't be too late already.

 **To Be Continued**


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 3**

Lelia had been so excited at the idea of seeing her uncle Willem that she had had troubles to get asleep the previous night, yet she was full of energy when the morning came. She had ran in her father's room and woke him up, making him smile. The little girl loved family gatherings, especially when it was about the Lannister side of the family, it was always funny and she had a blast everytime. Lancel thanked the Seven that Lelia left his room when he got up as a wave of dizziness hit him again.

"Coffee will help." He thought

Despite the fact that he hated coffee with passion. However, it was the only thing that managed to keep him on the road. He considered it a necessary medicine, one that tasted like something rotten but one that would help you out. Lelia had picked up her outfit herself and he had to admit he was impressed she thought of everything. She wanted to wear her favourite green dress, but as it was a summer dress, she added white and warm high socks, black and warm shoes and she even thought of having a waistcoat, counting also her coat. His girl never ceased to amaze him by her maturity. The day she was born felt like yesterday and yet, in one signle moment, she was five, picking outfits, and cleaning her room before he could even ask her to.

"She does all that so that I don't have to. It's sweet, but she is trying to protect me. She should be a child, act like a child... I'm such a joke of a father... My daughter can't even enjoy being an average kid... Elora would have never let that happen... I should have died instead of her... I wouldn't have made such a difference."

His back resting near the kitchen sink, his cup in his hand, he watched as his baby girl was going to the bathroom. He hated himself for thinking that he should have died, he knew that Lelia would have been just as upset. Yet, he couldn't help but feeling this way.

"What's wrong with me?"

He didn't have time to wonder for too long. Soon enough, Lelia asked him if he could make her hair into a crown. He drank the last drops of that disgusting brown liquid, put on his best face and started to head towards her.

Lelia needed a working father, not a sobbing mess.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel smiled as he was watching Lelia playing with Marissa Frey, Willem's girlfriend. Myrcella had joined them and her own child had been willing to play along.

"Cute kid. Can't deny she's yours. She looks just like you." He heard someone say as she was placing herself near him

He looked at her, trying to replace her. Maybe someone from high school. He didn't know. He hadn't kept in touch with his former comrades. She was familiar. And he had to admit he was breath taken. She looked magnificent! Even her pinched face was cute! She was tall, she had brown doe eyes, long and blonde hair with some red gleams. From what he could see, as her outfit was sexy without being trashy or skimpy, she had long legs and wore heels to enhance that fact. He didn't dare look at other parts of her. It would have been unproper. He wondered why he was so swept of his feet simply by looking at her. He saw women everyday and no one had made him feel that way, so he couldn't blame loneliness.

"And you're still dashing as ever, Lancel Lannister. I would have totally tried to have you in my bed back in my days. Maybe I could enter back into business just for your pretty face." She joked

"Amerei?" He asked, unsure. It would make sense, she was Marissa's sister.

She simply smiled at him.

"I know. I changed a lot in eight years. Gained some more inches, stopped being a Gatehouse... It was fun and I could start again, but I needed to get my priorities straight. A good situation first."

"Look at me. I changed a lot too. A widow with a young daughter. High school seems so far away."

"Yes, he good old times where a nice kiddo decided to record me and put me online..."

"He got five years of jail."

"Hope he got more, if you see what I mean."

He chuckled. She hadn't lost her sense of humour. She looked at Lelia and smiled again.

"She looks so precious. You must be proud."

From the smile on Lancel's face, she could see it was an understatement.

"She's my most precious treasure."

He held himself from saying she was all he had. Instead, he asked her what she had been doing. It appeared she had travelled a lot, explaining why she wasn't around. Dorne, the Free Cities, beyond the Fallen Wall... She had come back just in time for her sister Walda's wedding and had settled down. She had had some boyfriends, Pate, Harwyn, but it didn't last. All they wanted was sex and though she still loved that activity, she was tired of sleeping around just for the sake of having sex. She wanted to feel cared for through that act. Deep down, that was always what she had sought, her parents were so cold towards her. Lancel could understand and relate.

"I am so sorry about Elora... She was such a sweetheart... It must be hard for you on so many levels... You have to care for your child, you have to work so that you two can live..."

"My situation isn't dire and money isn't an issue."

"I know. But it eats your time. I hope you manage to grant yourself some time just for you."

He didn't answer to that and she noticed how he looked away. She undertstood and vowed to herself that she would make him go out and enjoy life as a man, not simply as a father. She couldn't blame him for putting his daughter first, heck she found it admirable, her own father didn't even bother. But she could see he was neglecting the fact that he was a man, a living being, as well as being a father. That he had forgotten that fact.

"We could have a drink together some time. When you don't work and when your kid is at school, so that you don't have to worry about her."

He didn't answer to that as well.

"At least, he didn't say no." She thought

Marissa called her over. She excused herself and went to her. Lancel felt kinda happy to have meet her again. She had matured but she had remained that cheerful and funny young woman he had briefly known. He laughed when he saw her expression when Lelia asked her if she was a princess because she was looking so pretty. He drank to that. Hearing Lancel's laughter made Dorna smile. Kevan and her hadn't hear him laughing in a long time, laughing with a genuine laugh and for a brief moment, he looked like he was actually 26 years old, he sounded like the cheerful boy he had been once. There was still hope, maybe... She hoped so. Because Martyn was right, Lancel looked like he was about to break at any moment. He looked exhausted, both physically and psychologically. And yes, her son wasn't known for being quite coloured, he wasn't known for being fat, he wasn't known for being very muscular. But here he stood, so white she was sure her sheets would look dirty compared to his skin, way too thin, too lanky... She blamed herself for not seeing it earlier. Lancel didn't speak to them about it, true, but that was her job to care for her children, even if they were independent. She watched as her husband went to him and as they started to chat. When asked if he was okay, because he looked unwell, she heard him reply he was tired due to work but as he was going to have days off soon, all would be well again.

"Lancel, you know we're here for you, right?" Kevan asked him

"I know, Dad. It's just been unusually busy at work. Sometimes, I wish I didn't have to sleep at night, to have more time to do all I need to do."

"Well, I hope you keep that as a wish."

Father and son chuckled at the joke.

 _XXXXX_

"Ami looked so surprised I wanted to be her friend." Lelia told her father as she was laying in her bed

"Ami?" He asked

"Amerei. She told me I could call her Ami."

He nodded. Lelia closed her eyes after he kissed her goodnight and went fast asleep, tired from her eventful day. He could feel his own eyes closing too. Fortunately, it was a weekend night, they could sleep in. As he was in his bed, surrounded by darkness, he thought back on Amerei's offer.

"It doesn't mean anything. Having a drink with a woman doesn't mean I will date and marry that person."

He tried his best to convince himself and to fall asleep as he was ashamed of himself. Amerei Frey would have been proud though, to be able to make a man hard while not touching him and keeping her clothes on.

 **To Be Continued**


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 4**

Lancel smiled as Lelia admired the city gardeners planting winter plants as the season was coming by. Her mother had loved flowers and before she had been killed, she had the project on beoming a florist. Elora knew the vernacular names of all the plants, as well as their latin names, their specialties, their dangerousness, she was a breathing encyclopedia on the subject. He was glad that her daughter seemed to have inherit a bit of her passion, even if it was just admiring the plants or always choosing clothes or hair accessories with flowers on them. It made her still alive in a way. He knew it wasn't healthy to think like this. Lelia was her own person and not her mother's ghost, and Elora herself would be greatly upset and disappointed he'd think that way. Many people told him he needed to let her go, to accept that she was gone, dead and buried. He just couldn't. He still couldn't understand why she was gone, why the driver wasn't even sent to jail because he declared he was sorry and not meaning it. All he had was his licence taken away, some money to give and he was free to go. While Elora's body was decaying under the ground. Why on Earth would he listen to them while they allowed that freak to be free when he made a three years old girl an orphan? No wonder he felt unwell! He couldn't even tell anyone how he felt, all that he kept inside. His sadness, his guilt, his anger, his disgust, everything was slowly eating him alive and those parasites liked how he tasted. The only reason he was fighting them was Lelia. He certainly wasn't the best parent between Elora and him but he was still her father and there was no way he'd leave her an orphan too soon. Never mind his failing body, the fact that he certainly disgusted potential new lovers away. That was a good thing actually. He was a father before being a man, Lelia came first, she'd always come first no matter what. And it wouldn't be as if someone would be interested in a young widow with a young child to raise. He couldn't even confess it to his parents. They had other matters in mind. Martyn was finishing college. Janei was a teenager. He was a grown man. Martyn and Janei came first. And besides, he's sound so pathetic, whining about that. He'd be told to suck it up, to man up, others had it way worse. After all, he was young, considered handsome, he had money, he had a house, he had a child. What did he have to be sad about? Joffrey had told him so.

But the real slap came when close friends told him the same.

People he had let in because he trusted them didn't want to bother with patience or with the mere idea of trying to understand. And then, they left because they thought he had a negative attitude and was a bad influence when he knew that, deep down, they didn't want to see someone slower in his process of grief. If it wasn't for Lelia, he would have killed himself long ago. Maybe he would, once Lelia would be a grown woman, independent and well settled in life. All he had to do was survive until then and enjoy the moments he had with her, as they were the only things that brought him comfort in his pitiful and miserable state of mind. Whenever he felt tired of eternally fighting this exhausting war against his body and himself, one smile from his little girl made it feel all worthwhile.

But after that, he always thought she deserved a better parent. A father strong enough to defeat all of that, a father who would be a real father and not the joke he was. He hated himself and he hated himself for all the thoughts he had, because he knew Lelia loved him, that she looked up to him. Everything inside of his head was a confusing and tiring mess he couldn't tidy or control. He was lost, completely lost. It was a twisted circle and he didn't know how to break it. He couldn't ask for help, no one would care or bother, and he didn't want to bother anyone. And as much as he knew he wasn't alone, as he had a family that would sacrifice anything for him, that's how he felt:

Utterly alone.

A joke, always a joke, on every level. A joke of a father, a joke of a brother, a joke of a son, certainly ashaming his parents. They had tried so hard to have him, sixteen fucking years of waiting and for what result? If only the twins had been the first borns! They were better than him in any light and they would make their parents prouder than he could ever dare hope.

"Daddy, look! It's Ami!"

His girl's happy voice took him out of his mental torture. Amerei was standing a few feet away, looking at a baby shop's front.

"Ami!" Lelia happily shouted

Amerei turned to face them and had a bright smile on her face, waving hello to them and walking to meet them.

"Hey there sweetie!" She said, kneeling to kiss her cheeks

She got up and greated Lancel. The look in the deepest of his eyes scared her. He looked even worse than he did when they saw each other at Willem's party. He was smiling, but inside, he was certainly shattered. She had done her research. Lancel had always been kind of a loner, even at school, having few but good friends. But ever since he had been widowed, he had found himself abandoned by those who called themselves his pals. She believed that what he needed, beyond being able to get used to the idea of Elora being dead, was a friend. A genuine friend. Someone to care for the man, so that it could be fused again with the father. In high school, they were good acquaintances, but not really friends. He had been one of the few to stand for her against the one who put online a video of her foursome, against the slut shaming she faced. It was highly time she paid her debt. But would Lancel even let her enter? He was certainly suffering to an extent she couldn't possibly imagine, he certainly wanted to be left alone to heal, like a wounded animal, with good reasons. But that wasn't the best option. She wanted to help. But how? How to help without smothering him?

"Are you having a baby, Ami?" Lelia asked

She smiled.

"No, I don't. But my sister Walda has a baby in her belly. So Auntie Ami is on her way to spoil her future nephew or niece. What about you?"

"Daddy and I went clothes shopping."

"And did you find anything?"

The little girl nodded and Lancel smiled as he listened to Lelia hauling their purchases to Amerei. He had to admit he didn't expect the woman to be so good with her. Not that he thought she couldn't be good with children. But she was so unique and extravagent he didn't thought she could have that natural motherly instinct.

"Didn't I owe you a drink, Lancel?" She asked him

"Actually, I never answered." He replied

"You didn't say yes then. But you didn't say no either." She retorted

He couldn't help but chuckle. And Lelia seemed to excited to see her.

"Fine. But it's my treat."

"Then, it means I owe you two drinks. Quite clever, Lannister. It's a master plan to see me more."

Now, he couldn't hold back a laugh. It was settled. The trio was crossing the road when they heard a car coming for them at a way too high speed. Lelia being in front of them, she was in line of sight, the first one to be hit. Amerei and Lancel had the same reflex, they ran to her and managed to push her away to safety. Pedestrians stopped by to check on them. Fortunately, no one had been hurt and it had happened so fast that Lelia wasn't in tears or too shocked, though she was shaken. She had feared the car would hit her. And nestle in her father's arms, she could feel him shaking. Amerei noticed his face, it was as if he was disconnected from the outside world, seeing things no one could see. She was the one who took the piece of paper a passerby gave her, as he had managed to take the car's number. She accompanied them home, where she tried to help the best she could. To take off Lelia's mind from the incident, she suggested she watched a movie. Lelia picked Tangled and soon let herself being taken into the magic world of the golden haired princess and of her thief. Lancel hadn't moved from where she had left him, completely out of their universe. She understood why. He had lost his wife, the woman he loved with all his heart, to a drunken driver and he almost lost his only child the same way. She managed to make him sit at the dining room table and gave him a glass of water.

"Have anything stronger?" He asked in a low voice

"There was no beer in your fridge and there is no bar in your house."

She sat by his side and gently took his hand. He didn't push her away.

"Lelia is fine, Lancel. She has been scared, true. But she isn't hurt. She's here, she's alive, she's with you." She said

"I know..."

"Then, what is it?"

Her question was void of any judgement, it was genuine, a true concern about him and it felt weird. Weird but warm.

"It felt like losing Elora all over again..."

She remained silent.

"I was supposed to be the one in that car, you know. It was my turn to go shopping for groceries after work. But I was sick. She wanted me to be able to go straight home after work."

"You didn't kill her."

"It feels like I did."

"But you didn't. You didn't choose to be ill at that time. Elora didn't know she was going to leave. It was simply meant to be. You had no power over it. Had it been you, your wife would be in your shoes, it would be the same, just the genders reversed. You were a great husband to her. I know it because I see how you still care for her, how you still love her. And you are a great father to Lelia. She is so radiant with happiness! You are doing a great job, Lancel. Because you are worth more than you think, you are stronger than you think."

She sounded so convinced he wanted to believe her. He wanted to. He couldn't though. He looked at Lelia, tucking herself under a blanket on the sofa, her Rapunzel doll against her, her thumb in her mouth. A faint smile came on his knew she succeeded. He finally reconnected with reality.

"Need anything else?" She asked

"The least I can do for you is having you over for dinner tonight."

He meant it, but he also wanted to delay the moment where Amerei would leave. Having her over meant he could focus on something else than this bloody car.

"Are you up to it?" She inquired

"I'm always up for cooking." He smiled

He went to see Lelia and her joy when she learnt Amerei was dining with them was contagious.

"What should I make?" He asked her

"Pasta with salmon." The little girl replied

"Good pick, that's my favourite!" Amerei exclaimed

 _XXXXX_

Lancel was in the dark, laying in his bed, after having another wave of dizziness. He had watched over Lelia a bit more that night, still amazed that he didn't lose her earlier. He wanted to ease himself, to get rid of that fear. He heard footsteps and his door opening. Lelia was standing there.

"What is it?" He asked

"Can I sleep with you tonight?" She shyly asked

He agreed and she placed herself near him. She fell asleep quickly. Lancel hugged her, confessing to the four walls around him that he had wanted it too just as much as she did.

 **To Be Continued**


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 5**

Lancel bit his tongue and tried to have support by leaning on the nearby wall. He thanked the Seven Gods for being on holidays, he wasn't sure if he would have been able to work, let alone drive in his state. The waves of dizziness continued to plague him. Worse, he had more of them and they were stronger than before. His other issues also kept on: a bad quality of sleep, the fact that he was exhausted waking up, he was even starting to fell ill more often. Between colds and stomach aches, he had to admit he didn't know how it felt like to feel okay anymore. Even his parents were starting to see behind the mask he put on, so that he wouldn't worry them. He had heard his mother worried he was doing a burnout. And even though it was more about work, he guessed it could work for people in his case. After all, he had lots of the symptoms. He had assumed his troubles would vanish with time or with a few days of rest. He could feel he was wrong and that his current state was entirely his fault. Another proof of his stupidity. He had doomed himself and now, he had to carry on with the consequences, without having them affecting Lelia in any way. She didn't have to pay for her father's lack of brain. He could hear her, humming as she was playing in the living room. He didn't deserve her one bit. She was such an amazing child and he was such a mistake... He couldn't even ask for help, even if he reluctantly agreed he might need a hand from time to time. It was his issue, no one had to be bothered for him.

"Maybe coffee will help..."

He tried to go to the kitchen and despite the fact that it was close to his room, it felt like a marathon. He walked a few steps but felt the world moving around him. He knew he was going to fall. He just hoped Lelia wouldn't hear him and that he'd wake up before she found him.

"Lelia..."

Those were his last thoughts as darkness embraced him and craddled his mind to sleep, leaving his body falling on the floor.

 _XXXXX_

Lelia was getting bored. It was raining outside, so she could go out and play. She didn't really feel like watching TV, though her dad showed her how to turn it on and put on Disney channel. That was right, her dad! Her dad would know what to do! He'd find something! They could play together or do something together. The last time, they had baked cookies and they were so good she was convinced her dad was actually a magical godfather. Her dad was very tired lately, maybe he was in his room, sleeping a bit. She went to see and found him. But that was weird, he wasn't sleeping on his bed, he was sleeping on the floor. Silly daddy! She went near him and gently called him. He didn't answer. Maybe he hadn't heard her, after all, he was sleeping. She tried again. Still not answer. She tried to slowly push his shoulder, he had no reaction. It was getting scary! Her daddy always answered, even after a few calls, but here, he wasn't even moaning! Was he dead, like her mommy? All she knew about death was that once a person was dead, you would never get to see him again, but he'd be happy if you put flowers on his grave. Her dad had told her a cemetary was a neighborhood made only for dead people, so that they wouldn't feel too alone. Was her dad going to move there? She didn't want to! She wanted him to remain with her! But he didn't wake up! Suddenly, his words came back in her mind:

If you have any problem, you call someone.

There was no fire, so she wouldn't bother to firemen. The police wouldn't be able to help. There were also the doctors that came into a long white car. She couldn't remember their name. Or their phone number. And there was her grandparents. That was it! Grandpa Kevan would know what to do!

"I am going to phone Grandpa, Daddy." She told her father

She was scared, she was really scared, she didn't want her daddy to live in a grave far away from her. But Grandpa Kevan was clever. He'd find a way. And to find a way, she had to be calm and to explain well. Just like her daddy told her. If she needed help, she had to call and try to be calm, even if scared. That wasn't easy, he knew, just as he knew she was a brave little girl. By being calm, she'd be able to explain the problem and they would come to help her, knowing exactly what to do.

 _XXXXX_

Kevan was reading his newspaper when the phone rang. Dorna was about to answer but as she was a bit more away, he was the first to arrive.

"Hello?"

"Grandpa?"

He smiled when he heard Lelia's voice.

"Hello, Lelia!"

"Grandpa, I need your help. Daddy is on the floor and I can't wake him up."

The man froze as he heard a five years old girl telling him she had found her father unconscious on the floor. Lancel's body had given away before they could do anything. They had tried, also being careful not to hurt Lancel's feelings in the process, but they had utterly failed. They had failed Lancel and they had failed Lelia too. His son didn't trust them enough to open completely and let them help. What shocked him to the core was that it was Lelia who found him and how calm she was. Her voice was not very assured, shaky sometimes, but there was no tear in it, she was explaining everything in the most detailed way she could provide.

"I'm on my way. Lelia, can you do something for me in the meantime?"

"Yes, Grandpa."

"Open to no one. I'll ring twice, so that you know it is me and that it is safe to open."

Dorna looked puzzled as the conversation ended. She looked at her husband, seeing the devastated look on his face. She understood. She just hoped it was just Lancel uncounscious Lelia found, and not something beyond repair... Kevan looked surprised when she grabbed her coat after him.

"Lelia will need to be occupied while you check on Lancel."

He manaed to give her a shaky smile.

Dorna really knew how to read him like an open book and he loved her for that.

 _XXXXX_

The Lannister couple had expected to find Lelia in tears. And if she wasn't in the best of shapes, she was stunning by how composed she had remained. She had an absolute faith in them setting everything right. Looking at her like that reminded them of Lancel at the same age and they realized how strongly they look alike. Dorna gently took her to her room. Kevan's heart broke when he saw his son laying there. He looked like a broken puppet, as if the strings that were holding him and making him live were finally cut. He didn't seem to have hurt himself in his fall, but he dfinitely wasn't okay. He was so pale it was almost scary. He had a fever. Not a high one, but he certainly had it for a while, or had several ones like this in a short period of time. He took his cellphone and called his best friend. He was a retired doctor. Lancel needed professional and medical help. He arrived quickly enough and checked him out. Finding out what Lancel was suffering from wasn't easy, as he was out, so he couldn't tell what he was suffering from. But what his friend had to say, what he reported from other people, seemed enough.

Lancel was having a really really bad burnout.

"Isn't it about being unwell at work and not in your everyday life?" Kevan asked, confused

"It usually is. But he has all the signs. He tried too hard."

"Does he need to go to the hospital?"

Kevan hoped it wasn't the case. Lelia was scared of those places and with good reasons. It was there that she was told her mother had joined the Seven Heavens. And he didn't want Lelia to be too perturbed in her daily life.

"No, but he can't be left alone."

"You think I would have let him handle himself alone after that?"

"Kevan, I know you. You'd be ready to change him again, even if he's 26, if it was needed."

"I owe you one."

The doctor left. Kevan went to meet his wife.

"Is Daddy going to be okay?" Lelia asked

"Yes, he is. But he is very tired."

The girl nodded.

"How would you like for you and your father to live with us for a while?"

Her smile was the confirmation he needed. He called Janei and asked her to prepare the rooms the best she could, he knew it was a short period of time for a task, so he couldn't ask too much. Dorna kept Lelia occupied so he could go with Lancel before coming back to fetch them. When Lelia arrived in their home, Lancel was sleeping in his bed, a less traumatizing view.

That night, she slipped away from her room to go and sleep next to her father's laying form, slowly soothed to sleep by his constant and easy breath.

 **To Be Continued**


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 6**

At first, Lancel couldn't feel anything. But slowly, his being was filled with the usual exhaustion that came up after a moment of sleep. Then, he felt warmness around him, softness. Why was it so? The last thing he could remember was falling on the floor. He wanted to move but every move he tried was agonizing. The place he was in seemed so comfy in comparison! He tried to open his eyes. All was blurry. He focused and piece by piece, the room detailled itself. It was his old room, back when he was living with his parents. Was he dreaming? Why was he here? How did he arrive here? He pushed the sheets to his feet and tried to get up. The world was still spinning around, though it felt more bareable than before. He heard Lelia playing downstairs. She was here was a relief. His paternal instinct rushed back and placed her before all of his questions. He looked at the alarm clock.

"She needs breakfast... Or we'll be late for school."

He walked to the door and opened. He carefully made his way to the stairs but as he was about go down, his mother appeared, in the opposite direction.

"Lancel..." She whispered in shock

"Hi Mom." He replied awkwardly

"What are you doing?" She asked

"Lelia needs to eat before school."

Dorna smiled.

"She has already eaten."

"Then, I'll help her prepare."

"I helped her. And your father made sure she had all she needed. Janei even made her hair. She's fine, Lancel. You can go and rest."

"But..."

His mother glared at him and though he was an adult, he couldn't help but flinch. Dorna wasn't a woman known for her bad temper, on the contrary, she was believed to be the sweetest and calmest person ever, with good reasons. It was less known that Kevan brought the lioness in her to shine when it came to her cubs.

"Lancel Kevan Tywin Lannister, you'd better get your butt back into bed or I swear by the Seven Gods that I will make you!"

Seeing his face, she couldn't help but laugh and spoke again.

"Lelia is fine, Lancel. More than fine. It's great that you put her first, even while ill, but everything has been taken care of. Now, go back to bed and rest. I'll bring you something to eat. And no, I won't scold you because you didn't went straight to bed because you needed to use the bathroom first."

Defeated, he obeyed, wondering how a 26 years old man managed to get scolded by his mother like a petulant child. Laying on his bed, he wondered how he and Lelia arrived here. Who found him? Did Lelia see him? Gods, he hoped she didn't see him that way! Why was he at his parents' house and not in an hospital? His questions were cut short when Lelia entered along with her grandmother.

"Daddy!"

She ran to his bed and climbed to hug hugged her back.

"Someone wanted to see you before her school day." Dorna explained, smiling

"Grandpa called his doctor friend and the doctor friend said you needed lots and lots of rest because you didn't have enough." Lelia explained

So, his parents were involved? How?

"The doctor said you didn't take care of yourself enough. That's bad, Daddy."

She looked at him all serious before a bright smile came on her lips.

"But I love you still."

He smiled back.

"I love you too."

She went back and got ready to leave for school, accompanied by her aunt. Dorna put her trail on the bed table and sat by her son's side. She studied him for a few seconds. He looked so fragile she was afraid he'd shatter of she touched him. She wondered where she failed him. He got ill to a severe point and he never asked for help. She understood how his mind worked and she was aware that her eldest child was sadly prone to depression, having had one in his teenage years. He just looked so... So dead... She wondered how long he had been this way and blamed herself for not seeing it sooner. She was his mother and yet, she had been blind until it was too late, until he was way too much into the vicious circle of his despair.

"How did I arrive here?" He asked, breaking her thoughts

"Lelia called your father after she found you and was unable to wake you up. Kevan called Owen, he checked on you and we took both of you home. Your boss has been warned you were sick, we didn't enter into the details, but he has all the papers needed. All is taken care of, all you need to do is rest and get better." She explained

"Lelia found me..." He whispered in shock

That was worse than he had imagined. His 5 years old daughter found her father unconscious on the floor and had to call her grandparents for help... He made her do this, he forced her to do this... After losing her mother... He couldn't help imagining her fear when she realized he wouldn't wake up... He had failed her and he had failed her hard. He didn't deserve to be her father, she'd be better off without him, to be with people who could care for her and not the miserable mess he had become. He felt like crying but what good would it bring? Unless showing even more of unfit he was to be her father, how unworthy of her and of her love he was? His mother seemed to have understood his sadness as she got closer and embraced him, telling him it was going to be okay. He wanted to believe her but he couldn't bring himself to it.

"Now, eat up and rest. If you're bored, your old TV and dvd player still works and I don't think Janei will mind if you borrow on of her game devices. After all, it was yours and the twins' in the first place." Dorna said

 _XXXXX_

Lelia woke up frightened that night. She had made a dream where she found her daddy again, unable to wake him. The doctor was here but he talked to Grandpa Kevan who cried. Then, she found herself in the cemetary, on her mother's grave and a new name was on it near hers. She tried to read it, she still wasn't able to read a lot but she could read a bit nonetheless. It was her daddy's name. Her daddy had moved to the cemetary with all the other dead people, in a neighborhood where she would never see him again, like her mommy. She didn't want that! She tried to push the grave, calling for him, but she was all alone and the storm was coming. She woke up when the thunder started to roar.

"I'm in Grandpa and Grandma's home." She tried to reason herself

She was dying to go to her daddy's room and hug him, maybe they'd sleep together. But Daddy was ill and needed his rest. She saw lights coming out of her aunt Janei's room. She carefully entered. She was watching TV, with the sound very low.

"Lelia?" She asked when she saw her

"I had a bad dream... Daddy had moved in the neighborhood where Mommy is."

Janei smiled gently to her and invited her for a hug. Soon enough, she turned off her TV and she invited her niece to sleep with her. She looked at her as she slept. Apart from the gender, she was Lancel's spitting image through and through. She remembered how she always went to Lancel after she had a nightmare. It was funny, she had three older brother, yet for nightmares, for small injuries, for anything that was scary of painful, it was always him she sought. She'd slip in his bedroom and he'd let her sleep with him through the night. It was time she paid her debt, even if the small version of Lancel she had under her eyes wasn't him but his offspring.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel couldn't help smiling and feeling touched deep down when he saw his little sister sleeping with his daughter. It was exactly just like he comforted her years ago. He wasn't even sure she'd remember due to the age gap. However, he looked confused when his father took out a camera, hidden in a storage near his children's room and took a picture of the scene.

"Told you it was a good idea to have a camera here." He joked as Dorna looked at the result

"So that's how you have all those sleeping pictures of the boys and me..." Lancel realized

"It's not my fault you all inherited your mother's talent for cuteness and it would be criminal to let it pass without memories." Kevan replied

"You helped in their cuteness." Dorna added

"Barely."

It felt good to see his parents still so close and so in love after all these years. Lancel took out his phone and started to write.

"What are you doing?" Dorna asked, intrigued

"Making a memo. I do need to borrow your trick for cute pictures."

 **To Be Continued**


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 7**

In her classroom, Lelia was quietly sitting on her chair, her mind focused on the heart shaped objects she was making out of salt dough. Mothers' day was coming and the teachers were buysing supervising the children in their gift makings. Strangely enough, Lelia had surprised her teachers by how joyful she was. They had assumed she'd be down, moody, as her mother was deceased. Yet, she was smiling and humming as she was easily writing the names she wanted in her hearts, destined to become pendants.

"She writes so well!" A teacher's aid whispered to the main teacher when he saw her work

"Her father is very present in her education, he's her father and her mother at the same time."

Near her, Nymeria was painting the best she could, trying hard not to colour outside the outlines. She looked at her necklace as a reference. She was painting the old Stark sigil for her mother. She had happily tell Lelia that the necklace had belonged to Arya once, justifying its worn out look, but she had loved it so much Arya let her have it. A group of kidsd arrived and looked from behind her back.

"What's written?" A boy asked

"Grandma and Auntie."

"She's so dumb! It's Mothers' Day! You have to make a gift to your mom!" He laughed

Before anyone could do anything, Lelia stared at the boy and amazed everyone by how composed she was. She was so strict looking that the boy got scared.

"My mother is dead." She simply stated

With only four words, she had launched a cold and uneasy atmosphere in the room. As the boy looked about to cry because she was frightening, she finally had a warm smile.

"But that's okay. I have my daddy. And Grandma Dorna and Auntie Janei are like moms. And Grandma Dorna is actually a mom, she's my daddy's mommy. So I'm not wrong."

She turned her back to the boy and went back to her creation.

"Boys are stupid." Nymeria said

"Your daddy is a boy and he's not stupid." Lelia replied

"Daddy is an adult."

Lelia never told anyone that she did have a gift for her mother. That day, she'd leave a bouquet of lilies on her grave. Those were her mother's favourite flowers and she had loved them so much that it had become part of her daughter's name:

Lelia Lily Dorna Lannister.

She just hoped her daddy would be well enough to take her there.

 _XXXXX_

Kevan had been the one to answer the phone call from the school. He had shocked them when he had burst out in laughter when he heard how his granddaughter put the boy back in his place. She was a true little lioness through and through and she reminded him of Genna, who was like her at that age. And what warmed his heart was the fact that Lancel actually laughed too, a true and genuine laugh. He was looking young again. Before he gently scolded him.

"What are you doing?" He asked

"The dishes." Lancel replied, intrigued

"Thank you, Captain Obvious. You know what I mean."

Seeing him so contrite, he sighed and smiled. He knew his son all too well. Lancel wanted to help around the house to make up for "being a burden". He could understand but he was still in a very fragile state and needing to rest as much as he could. He was glad he cared and had he will to help, it showed his maturity, that he wasn't ungrateful, but he knew he was still feeling dizzy, though he tried to hide it.

"You are stealing the dishwasher's job. Poor guy." He joked

Lancel chuckled.

"Now, just go and relax. The world won't stop existing because you don't do chores."

"It's just an habit from home..."

"I know. But you shouldn't even be out of bed. So, before your mother kills me, sit and take it easy."

"Mom would never kill you."

"Don't test your mother."

Lancel finished his business and went to relax on the couch. On the table, there was a photo album. He took it and looked through the pages. It was a trip in the past, twenty-six years ago. He looked at his baby self and realized just how much Lelia looked like him. He knew she looked like him, and many people were amazed by the likeness, but seeing himself at 3 months old gave him the weird feeling of déjà-vu. He browsed through his own pictures, saved on his phone. Baby Lelia and baby him were almost perfect twins. It was almost scary.

"We're home." Janei announced as she and Lelia were back from school

Lelia was happy to see her father out of bed. She got curious and sat near him, watching the pictures.

"Is that me?" She asked

"No, it's me." Lancel stated

"But you're all grown up."

"Every adult starts as a baby."

She stared at the pictures, watching her six months old father now. She seemed a bit confused still.

"Daddy, how are babies made?"

Kevan bit his tongue, trying hard not to laugh. He loved his son very much but that was just gold. He wondered how he was going to handle it. He was surprised he didn't mention the Seven Gods, knowing his genuine belief. He assumed, however, that he might sadly not believe as much anymore after all that happened. Lance had a brilliant reply, stating the truth: when a father and a mother loved each other very much, sometimes their love gave birth to a baby. It only worked between grown up of the opposite gender and who had no blood links. Or else, the magic of love wouldn't work.

"Grandpa and Grandma must love each other very much then, for them to have two babies at the same time!" Lelia exclaimed, thinking of her uncles

Three years old Lancel had had the same thought when he had asked the dreadful question of baby making.

Lelia nestled in her father's arms and together, they made a little trip in the past, admiring the good old days, ending in Lelia exclaiming how beautiful Kevan and Dorna looked on their old wedding day picture.

 **To Be Continued**


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 8**

Lancel had felt unwell that day. At least, that was what he told his mother. He was feeling horrible. Everytime he tried to stand up, he felt the world spinning around him and taking one step was a marathon. He saw his reflection in the mirror and that wasn't a pretty sight. He was so pale he wondered if he could be called a ghost. He felt feverish as well. So he spent most of his day in his bed, sleeping. He didn't even had to force himself, as soon as his head was on the pillow, Morpheus craddled him and took him to the dream world, a world that hadn't changed ever since Elora passed away. She was standing there, as beautiful as ever. Her long ebony hair was set free and her ocean eyes sparkled with joy when she saw him. He could feel the warmth of her breath, the softness of her skin, the wetness of her lips when he kissed her. They were together, in their house, certainly the most domestic couple ever, but that was the way they were happy: in their little nest, cut from the world, raising their bundle of joy and continuing to care for the garden that was their love. Lelia would be there, as a baby, or as her current self and they'd watch over her, her mother craddled against him near the fireplace, the silence only disturbed by their daughter's happy hummings. Everytime he woke up, those dreams left a bittersweet taste in his mouth. It helped, knowing that he could be with her again in that way, but when the real world formed before his eyes, he was cruelly reminded that what he had experienced for a few hours couldn't be recreated, that Elora was gone and that he could never have her back for real. She'd only be alive in chimeras. He would never be her husband again. Due to his illness though, he didn't have many dreams and he was grateful. It was just him, diving in the comforting and restful darkness of slumber, embraced by the soft warmth of his sheets. He had tried to get up and to join his family for lunch but if he had managed to reach the stairs with the greatest difficulty, he couldn't see himself going down. Thus, he was surprised to see his mother bringing him something to eat. After school, Lelia came to see him and told him all about her day, like she always did. She seemed proud when she learnt he had spent his day resting. As he looked at her joining Janei, he wondered how he could call himself a parent. He hadn't forget that it was his five years old child that found him unconscious in their house and that called his parents for help, that it was his five years old daughter that scolded him for being reckless. It was his job to care for her, not the other way around and he felt ashamed that he had failed her so hard. Now, they were together in his parents home, with her being taken care of by her aunt and her grandparents while all he did was sleeping and eating. He was just the worst. He wasn't worthy of the gem that was his child, he wasn't worthy of her love, he wasn't worthy of anything. He was still the same mess he was two years ago after his wife died. He hadn't changed one bit. That was pathetic and pitiful. Sometimes, he even came to think that people were right, he couldn't take car of Lelia, not properly. She needed a rock and he was a crumbling pile of bullshit. A soft knock on his door made him cut his thoughts short.

"It's me, Lancel." He heard his father say

"Come in."

"I came to see how you were doing. You didn't seem good when I left this morning."

Lancel smiled. Even if his father was retired, he was still very active and helped his brother Tywin as he could. But, as always, he made time for them.

"It's getting better." He said

"You seem better, true. I was wondering if we could talk. Man to man."

Lancel nodded and Kevan sat by his side.

"I know I keep repeating myself and that you are not an idiot, you know you can tell us anything. That we're here for you. Just as I know how hard it is for you to open up."

The older man noticed his son's eyes looking straight before him yet they weren't focused on anything. He looked... So sad.

"I know... And I trust you, I do..."

He paused for a few seconds.

"It's just... I don't want to bother you... Even if you say I don't. But look at me... I'm 26 and here I am, living with you again, forcing my presence and issues on you all and on top of that, you have to deal with a five years old again when you deserve a peaceful retirement. Not to mention that I am a joke of a father, whose kid is a much better parent to him than he ever will be to her."

Kevan could see his words clearly hurt him, they were poisoning his mind. He was seeing himself as a burden again.

"Care to remind me what a parent's job is?" He asked

"To care for his child, to help him grow, to watch over him, to help him when in need." Lancel replied

"Then, I'm doing my job. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean I can stop being a father to you. You'll always be my kid, even when old and grey. You needed help, so we help you. And your mother is so happy to have Lelia around. I have to admit I do too. And never say again that you are a joke of a father. You know why you fell ill? Because you tried and worked too hard. Many men would have given up or detached themselves from their children, giving them to nannies. You always put Lelia first and I dare say that you are a better father than I could ever be."

"I can't be better than you." Lancel stated, shocked

His father only smiled.

"You didn't kill your children's mother." Lancel added

"Neither did you." Kevan answered back

"I was supposed to drive the car that day."

"Then what? You would have died instead of her. What difference would it have made? Elora would have been just as crushed as you are. She loved you as much as you loved her. The situation would be the same. You didn't cause the death of your wife, Lancel. Take that fact and put it in your brain."

Lancel felt like crying but he had shed all of his tears already. He was feeling void. Feeling his son wasn't at ease, Kevan decided to change the subject, hoping it would improve his mood.

"Lelia tells me a lot about a certain Ami." He tried

"Yeah, Amerei Frey. Former highschool acquaitance. We reconnected at Willem's party. Lelia loves her."

"So, you and that Amerei?"

"Gosh, Dad, no! We get on well, we talk sometimes, but we aren't a thing."

"Pity. It could do you good, seeing someone."

Lancel looked so serious Kevan wondered what he was going to say.

"I cannot date anyone. First of all, I don't want to. And my main priority is my daughter, not who warms my bed."

"You can care for your daughter and find love again."

"Yes. When Lelia will be all grown up and independent, if I am not too old, which I'll be, so problem solved."

"You don't want to or you can't? Because there is a difference. Lancel. I cannot blame you for wanting to make Lelia your top priority as she should rightfully be. I know you are a father, but a father can also be a man. Children are like mirrors. If she sees that the man you are is happy, she will be happy. She is clever and knows better than thinking that you are replacing her mother."

"I am happy."

"As a dad."

Suddenly, Kevan realized that Lancel's problem was actually very simple: he was afraid to love again, afraid to suffer if it went wrong and thus, he put walls around his heart and dived head first into fatherhood even more to forget about it. He needed time. It had been two years, true, but he had loved Elora so much, it seemed logical that his grief would be so important and heavy to bear. Maybe even the thought of loving again made him sick and if he ever had any manly thought, he'd berate himself as he'd consider he was cheating on his dead wife.

"Just don't cross the dating again option. You could meet wonderful people."

Lancel only nodded. But when his father saw the smile on his face when Lelia told him that Amerei said hi and that she hoped he was getting better, the ghost of the young man he had been with Elora, a happy young man, appearing on his features, he understood that hope wasn't lost.

 **To Be Continued**


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 9**

"Are you sure about this?" Dorna asked again as her son was putting on his dufflecoat.

Lancel was getting better and better and was now able to go around the house without feeling any dizziness, though he was still quite tired. But as much as he claimed he was getting better, she was still worried his issues could come back because he overdid it. True, Lelia's school wasn't far and they were going by car, but she was still anxious. There would be lots of people, of whispers, of noises. What if he felt unwell there?

"I'll be fine, Mom."

He knelt to help Lelia with her zipper. The little girl was smiling brightly, extatic that her father would accompany her to school just like before. Of course, she liked it as well when it was her grandparents or her aunt dropping her off, but as much as she loved them, they weren't her dad. They didn't have the same bond.

And maybe it would make the mean people stop talking behind his back.

They thought she couldn't hear them but she could. How they said that he wasn't a good father, that he didn't know how to balance his own life and hers, that he gave up on her, forcing her grandparents to step in, or that he was stupid for falling ill in the first place. How could he pretend to be able to raise her if he couldn't even care for himself? She hated them with all her heart and she longed to give them a piece of her mind.

Of how her father was her hero.

That even still very sad to have lost her mom, he was still there for her, he gave her his special smile, he never shouted at her, even when very upset or tired, he never hit her while he could have, she knew some children were. He was always patient, explaining, punishing her if she needed to be punished but he was always fair. He always had time to read her a story, to kiss her goodnight, to do her hair, to play with her. She knew that some of the people talking did half of what her father, a father all alone, did, because she heard the other children talk. They were mostly left on their own, playing alone in their rooms. But her dad took time to do things with her. She felt a boiling rage upon their words when they were clearly worse than her dad. But she always bit her tongue, because her dad taught her it was impolite to interfere in a discussion she wasn't part of, to cut a conversation, or to answer back to an adult, because they deserved respect. And she was an obedient girl, raised by an amazing dad. So she remained quiet. And listening was much more fun anyway, it made her know some secrets.

"See you later, honey." Her grandma told her as she kissed her cheek

Her father knelt and gave her the usual kiss he always gave her when he took her to school.

"Have fun."

He looked at her going, a smile on his lips, and his love for her was showing on his face. He chuckled a bit when she rushed to Nymeria and that they immediately sat together, ready to draw. He was still amazed that she had befriended Arya Stark's daughter. He hadn't been the nicest to her or to her sister Sansa back in his days. Of course, he had apologized to Sansa, made amends and he was grateful they got on well know. He had done the same to Arya but he never really knew if she had forgiven him or not. Not that he craved her forgiveness, he could understand her not wanting to, it just left him a bit nervous not knowing where he stood with her. Even if it had been in highschool. At least, she seemed cordial enough when they saw each other when they fetched their daughters. Dorna and him exited the building and went back in the car.

"How are you feeling?" She asked

"Quite good actually. Though I don't see myself running the marathon." He answered

They went back home, where his mother left him, she was expected somewhere else, leaving him home alone with Janei. The poor girl was sick with a flu and though she didn't seem to suffer much, she was still feeling cold and feverish. He decided to go upstairs and check on her. She was on her bed, quietly reading some mangas. What puzzled him was the cover. Elora loved Japan and its culture, she loved anime and mangas and thanks to her, he was able to almost identify the type of story a manga told just by the main cover. Janei's cover was two girls hugging each other in a friendly, happy way. He tried to focus on it more. He had seen it before. He was almost certain Elora had read them, maybe he still had them in his attic. It was a yuri, a story depicting the love affair between two girls. He wasn't very surprised Janei would read some, she was certainly the most open-minded girl he knew of. No, what surprised him was how she seemed to look at the picture. She wasn't reading the story like someone enjoying the writing. And suddenly, he realized that, as soft as this manga could be, it was his sister's equivalent of 50 Shades of Grey. He felt awkward. He could remember her when she was born, when she was a toddler, how he helped out, how he even changed her diapers. He tried to block from his mind the idea that his baby sister was grown up and had a sexual life, just like he had, and that she was attracted by women.

"Lancel?" She asked, flustered when she realized he was watching

"Sorry... Didn't mean to pry."

He entered and sat by her side.

"So... You understood?" She carefully asked

"You prefer girls." He stated

She bowed her head. Lancel was actually the last person from her immediate family to discover her sexuality. She had been worried when she came out. Her mother was quite pious and her father, well, he was an old man. Dorna said she was glad she found her way and Kevan just stated that he wanted to meet any girlfriend of hers. Martyn had been understanding and Willem had told her he'd break the heads of any women that would beak her heart. She hadn't mean to hide it from Lancel. She knew he'd support her, he always supported his siblings. The occasion never really occurred. She just couldn't appear in his room, with him laying, feeling unwell in both bordy and spirit, and happily say _"Hey bro, I love women!"_. She just hoped he wasn't too mad at her for not telling him sooner.

"Guess what?" He said

She looked at him in the eyes. He was smiling, that was a good sign.

"So do I." He dropped

Brother and sister shared a laugh before they decide to play some video games together. When she came back, Dorna couldn't help but melt at the sight of her eldest son and of her youngest child having fun together, sitting together on Janei's bed, as if the age gap didn't exist, their complicity heartwarming. Kevan was right:

She had done well by their children.

 _XXXXX_

"Are you sure about this?"

From the kitchen, Lancel simply smiled.

"If I die, I scream for help."

Kevan couldn't hold back a laugh while Dorna started at him. She was amused, but she was still concerned about Lancel's health. That night, the entire family was going to be reunited. Kevan, herself, their four children and little Lelia. That was the definition of a perfect night for her. Lancel had volunteered to cook for the occasion. She didn't deny her son's knack for cooking, it was a hobby he had enjoyed ever since he was fourteen and she admitted with no shame that his talent in that field was way greater than hers. But he was till fragile and they were going to be a lot around the table. Even if he had stated he wanted to do it and that it was okay by him. However, she couldn't help admitting the cuteness of the scene:

Her baby boy in an apron with his own baby girl, cooking together.

Of course, what Lelia mostly did were little and easy tasks but she seemed so happy to be allowed to stir, her father holding her hand.

"Smelling delicious!" Willem commented as he entered the room

A few minutes later, her four children by her side, her husband next to her, their granddaughter facing her, Dorna felt she was the happiest woman on Earth.

There was indeed no place like home.

 **To Be Continued**


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 10**

Lancel tried to smile as he was carefully brushing his daughter's sandy hair, preparing it to be braided into a crown, just the way she liked it. Lelia was a social butterfly, something she inherited from her mother and he was thankful she didn't get his awkward demeanour and his horrible shyness. So, that was no surprise for him, seeing her excited at the idea of a family event. His cousin Cersei and her husband Robert had organized their annual huge family dinner, where both the Baratheons and the Lannisters would meet. Lancel remembered he had feared attending it the year Elora passed away. It had occurred just five months after her death. He had been surprised by Robert's attitude towards him. When he was a teenager, he had worked for him and he had been a real pain in his behind. Yet, when he had arrived, freshly widowed, Lelia holding his hand, he had seen another part of the man he had never imagined:

Robert had been a good friend.

He had certainly looked pitiful and broken, he could remember the look of shock in his host' eyes when he greeted him. Robert hadn't teased him the way he used to. In fact, he offered him wine and they had talked, alone. A genuine talk between two grown men. With time, Lancel had understood the source of that kindness. Robert knew how it felt to lose the person you called your soulmate. Ever since that day, the patrarch of the Baratheon family was among the ones who took his side when his abilities as a father were doubted. Now, he was fearing to go because they all knew what happened to him. He felt ridiculous, he was 26, not 10, but he couldn't help it.

"I can't wait to play with Nymeria!"

"I know."

"Uncle Willem told me Marissa would be with him! Too bad Ami won't be."

"Well, you'll see her later."

Lelia smiled as her father finished her crown. She kissed him on the cheek to thank him and went to show her grandmother how pretty it looked. He smiled at that. He could remember the times where he had helped Janei with the same issue. Everyone was getting ready to leave.

It was time to go to the Baratheon mansion.

 _XXXXX_

It was Cersei who had opened the door and Lancel had to admit that time had no grip on her at all. Of course, she didn't look like she was a teenager but she looked so much younger than her actual age. She was still stunning. He wondered how she did, all the things she did to keep that look of hers. Her own father was the same way, he looked his age but he seemed just as tall, strong and charismatic. Next to him, he always felt like a little boy. Yes, he had to admit, the members of both families, Baratheon and Lannister, seemed gifted with the blessing of aging well. He bit his tongue when he heard a little girl calling Cersei "Grandma". She hated the thought of her aging. Yet, it came from her own kin and according to Tyrion, her love for her children, and thus her grandchildren, was her only redeeming quality. That, and her cheekbones. After greeting everyone, Lelia was allowed to go and join Nymeria. She had impressed everyone by her patience, her non-fading smile and her politeness. Myrcella and Joy watched over the children as they quitely played together.

"Good to see you here." Lancel heard behind him

Gendry smiled at him. Being Robert's son, he and his family had been invited as well.

"Thanks. Wasn't sure to come to be honest, but Lelia wanted to be here."

"Yeah, Nym was all over it as well, how she'd see Lelia outside of school."

Lancel smiled.

"So, how are you doing?" He asked

"Kinda well. Arya gave Dad the best birthday present. We're expecting again."

"That's amazing! Congratulations!"

"Nym can't wait until the baby is born. You should see her, she draws non-stop to decorate the future room."

"That's adorable."

He briefly wondered how Lelia would have reacted to the new of a new sibling. Not that it would occur. It would never occur. But he couldn't help wondering how she would have reacted. Excitement? Jealousy? When he saw how doting she was over Myrcella's infant daughter, how amazed she was by Joy's baby bump, he had his answer. It would have been an amazing moment to share. A moment that was stillborn.

"Lancel. Can I have a word?"

The young man turned around to meet Joffrey. Lancel was always amazed by how strongly he looked like Jaime. He was told he looked a lot like Jaime himself but Joffrey was Jaime, only younger. That seemed natural, as Jaime was Cersei's twin brother, still, it was still impressive to witness. Joffrey had changed a lot. He was still a snob, he was still thinking he was superior but the unjudging love Margaery gave him shook him to the core. She had tried so hard to understand him that he had started to soften. For her. He wanted her to never regret her choice, he wanted to be able to be with her, the only woman who could support him. He nodded, congratulated Gendry again and followed Joffrey in a quiet area. They sat and Joffrey offered him a beer.

"How did you do to go on like you did, after you lost Elora?" He asked

There was no malice in his voice.

"Did something happen to Margaery?" Lancel worried

"Yes and no. But... Well, our daughter is born."

"Congrats."

"The birth was extremely difficult and she had lost a lot of blood. It's actually a miracle she survived and that she is considered still fertile by the doctors. They came to see me when she was delivering Joanna. They told me there were chances she'd die. Or that I'd have to choose between her and our child. Thankfully, I didn't have too but... Lancel, I completely freaked out..."

His voice was cracking. Hesitantly, Lancel gently patted his shoulder.

"The woman I loved gone, and myself alone with an infant to raise... I was so scared to lose her... I'd be lost without her... How did you do, to go on, with Elora dead and Lelia so young?"

"I'm not an example to follow, it led me to a burn out. But when Elora died... The day she was buried, I buried the man I was with her. I was no longer a man, or a husband. I was a father. Lelia was the treasure she left me, the thing she loved most, and I had to protect her, for her sake, in her memory. My fatherly side completely took over and I basically ran on autopilot. After a while, though the sadness remained, the pain went away and I started to have control again. What kept me was the fact that Lelia loved me and that I loved her. I went on, for her."

"But what if I had hated Joanna for taking Margaery from me? It could have happened. Look at Grandfather."

"The very fact that you are wondering that is a proof you wouldn't have rejected Joanna."

"But, you never saw the ghost of your wife in your daughter?"

"Lelia is her own person. Of course, sometimes, I do see things. But before being my child and her daughter, she is herself."

Joffrey sadly smiled and nodded.

"Do you think it's karma?"

Lancel looked at him, puzzled.

"For all the things I have done."

"The Seven aren't twisted enough to take a mother from a child just to punish the dad."

"A twisted lesson for a twisted guy. Seems logical."

"Then, why is Ramsay happily settled with Myranda and their hounds?"

Joffrey finally laughed.

"Thanks. For listening. And if you repeat to anyone what I told you, I will say that you lied."

"What did you say, exactly?"

He smiled and the two men joined their families, Lelia sitting happily next to her grandfather, impressing the adults by how well composed she was. Even Tywin was impressed.

Lancel never felt any prouder.

His daughter was only 5, yet she was already a little badass by being a perfect little lady.

 **To Be Continued**


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 11**

In many ways, Lancel felt reborn. Two months ago, he would have never imagined he'd be able to go out in town with his daughter again. He was stuck in bed, exhausted and sleeping in most of the time. The dizziness that had plagued him was long gone and it was only now that he fully realized the extent of how unwell he had been, by ironically feeling so good it was liberating. He had listened to himself and rested, he allowed himself to relax and to have moments for him. It was still feeling awkward and wrong to him, but he took it as a mean to remain healthy and to avoid falling back in his illness. And Lelia's joy at the idea to be able to go out with her father again made him want to stick to that commitment. Lancel had also thought of leaving his job. He considered it carefully. Sure, he didn't really need to work, he was already quite wealthy, and he had saved up a lot, but he always felt uneasy at the idea of him just chilling while other fathers had to work to even try to put some food in their kids' plates. He didn't hate the job but he didn't particulary liked it, he had taken it because it was something he could do. And he was wondering what he'd do all day, jobless, waiting for Lelia's class to be over.

"Daddy, look! It's Ami!" Lelia cheered

Ahead of them, Amerei was staring at the window shop of a baby store, certainly shopping more for her future nephew or niece. The feeling of déjà vu was overwhelmed by the rod Lancel suddenly felt in his guts and he thanked the cold wind, as it gave him as excuse of his red cheeks. She was astonishing. Her hair was slightly wavy and fell on her shoulders, covered by a red leather jacket. She was wearing some tight black jeans with brown tight-high boots. She was being a vision to him once again and he wondered why she had that effect on him. He was too old for the lust crush thing anyway.

"Hi Ami!"

"Oh! Hi Lelia! How are you?"

She had knelt to kiss the girl's cheeks and raising her eyes to meet Lancel's, she had a small smile.

"It's good to see you again."

He had to admit the feeling was shared.

"Willem had told me you were unwell. I wanted to call you but I didn't want to bother you. Or your parents."

An awkward silence settled in before she got up and regained her composure.

"I still owe you two drinks, Lannister."

"Bring it on, Frey."

His playfullness gave her hope. He really was on the way to be truly 26 again.

 _XXXXX_

Sitting at the table of a tea shop, watching Lelia playing quietly not far from him, Lancel was enjoying this moment of peace. It had been litteraly years since he had been out for a drink with someone, for the fun of it. Amerei's words were still on his mind. She had wanted to call but she didn't want to bother him while unwell. She actually cared for him. He wondered why this new was making him so warm inside. It felt weird. Not unpleasant though, it was enjoyable. But it felt weird. Why did it make him so joyful? If anything, Amerei was a friend, and he wondered if he could actually consider themselves friends. Yes, they got on well, she had saved Lelia's life, but they barely talk or interacted. And why was there this nagging feeling of chemistry?

"So... How have you been doing?" He asked

"Quite fine actually. But I admit I am facing a dilemma."

He looked at her, she was staring at her coffee.

"I do love my current job. The colleagues are nice, the place is nice and I do love working there. But I am considering having my own shop. And I don't know if I should do it. I feel like I'd be betraying them when they were so nice to me."

"Where do you work?"

"In a sex shop."

His face remained unchanged and she thought of how teen Lancel would have blushed at the idea of her working there. She wondered if he thought she was joking.

"And what would your boutique be about?"

"Clothes and underwear. Sexy style but not porn style."

"Then, why would you be betraying them? You wouldn't be selling the same items. Maybe you could even have a partnership with them. They could be retaillers for some of your products."

"Where did you learn to be such a good business man?"

"I'm Tywin's nephew, remember?"

They shared a laugh.

"If you are unsure, give yourself some time to think about it. Sometimes, we thnk we want something while it's just a temporary desire, not a yearning. We are on the same boat."

"You consider changing careers?"

"I consider being a full time stay-at-home dad."

"You'd be employee on the month every month."

Lancel smiled as he looked at Lelia drawing.

"Thank you again for saving her."

It had been almost a whisper but Amerei could hear how much it meant to him, and also the sadness behind it. Lelia was all he had. He did have a family who loved him and he knew it, but he craved to be more than a son, and sadly, on other fields, he was always alone. It saddened her. She studied him for a moment. Lancel had always been handsome, but for one brief moment, she saw more behind his appearance. Something hard hit her gut. She was actually starting to fall for the guy! Amerei was never ashamed of her sexuality, she had embraced it and it had become her flag and her armour but deep down, she knew why sex mattered so much to her. Beyond the obvious fact that she absolutely loved the activity, what she sought behind it was the love and tenderness her parents had always refused her, dissapointed by her gender after miscarriages and hopes for a boy. And Lancel was someone full of both. No wonder she was attracted.

"Calm your tits, sister." She thought "It's just a crush, not real love."

"Lelia and I are moving back home soon."

His words almost startled her as she was lost in her mind.

"That's great!"

"Feel free to drop by at any time. Lelia will be all too pleased."

"I'm glad she likes me."

Lancel shocked her, but in a good way, as he retrieved a pen and paper to give her his phone numbers: the one for his home and his personal one.

"Now, now, are you making a move on me, Lannister?" She joked

"I'm making sure I am getting the phone call you craved to give me." He teased

He didn't want to admit he couldn't wait until she would give him that call.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel smiled as he sat on the couch, his brothers joining him. Lelia was by his side and was happily telling her uncles about the day she had with her father.

"Daddy?" She asked

"Yes, Princess?"

"Is Ami your girlfriend?"

He almost choked on his coke and he felt himself blushing so much he wondered if he was as red as the roses Kevan had offered Dorna earlier that day. Martyn and Willem were laughing.

"Ami as in Amerei Frey?" Willem inquired

"Yep." His niece replied

"Aww, I hope so, that would mean you and I would be brothers twice, Lany."

"I'm not dating anyone!"

What had gotten into his daughter's head?!

"Why do you think so, honey?" Martyn carefully demanded

"Well, Ami is pretty. She's nice. She's funny. And whenever she's around, Daddy seems happier. He smiles, he jokes. They're good friends and she's a girl, so she could be his girlfriend."

"Best logic ever!" Willem commented

"Guys..." Lancel whined meekly

"But you know that, if your daddy marries her, she'll be your stepmommy?" Martyn continued

"I'd like having her as a mom, she's always kind to me. And she likes Daddy."

Lancel remained silent as he thought back on his father's words, about Lelia being happy at his happiness, about her being clever and knowing he wouldn't seek to replace Elora in her heart should he marry again. She had just proved him, all over again, how mature and intelligent she was. The Seven Gods really blessed him with her.

"Now, that's a cheerful talk." Dorna stated as she entered the room. "Care to tell me what's going on?"

"We're marrying Lancel, Mom!" Willem launched

"Aww, my little boy is getting married!"

"Mom! Don't support them! I'm not marrying anyone!" Lancel protested, making the twins and Lelia laugh

Seeing her three sons like that, it felt like the good old days, back when they were teenagers.

Seeing Lancel like that, so young and full of life again, it felt like a miracle.

 **To Be Continued**


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 12**

Lelia was fast asleep as the day had been exhausting. Lancel and her had finally moved back into their home. Between unpacking their belongings, doing the groceries for a few days, the little girl had been tired in no time. Her father was looking around the place, as if he was rediscovering it, after he had finished tidying and cleaning. It wasn't very dirty, but dust needed to be removed. It felt weird, being there again, after so long. It almost felt like home. Almost. Home had never really felt like home ever since he had lost his wife. He was just happy that his daughter liked the place and felt comfy in it. He looked at the clock. The evening was still young. He browsed through his phone's phonebook. His thumb stopped next to Amerei's number. He considered calling her. She hadn't called him back yet, but she had sent textos. Lots of textos. Maybe she was more at ease with it. However, he wanted to hear her. Heck, he craved hearing her voice! He didn't know why, but everytime she was with him, everytime she talked to him, everything felt lighter and easier. He bit his tongue. What could he tell her? That he moved back in at last? She already knew it was to be done. That Lelia was fine? She'd be happy to know it, but that was too light. He didn't have much to say and he didn't think he was important enough to allow himself to be bothersome. And he had to admit he was a bit scared to call her. Just like after they reconnected at Willem's party, the night after they had coffee together, his body had reacted to her appearance. He felt ashamed. What was he?! Some sex crazed pervert who couldn't hold it in because he had had no one in two years?! He knew there was no way she'd know, and even if she knew she wouldn't mind, but he knew and that was enough to embarrass him. Why did his body seemed to crave hers? Why did his mind yearned for her voice? How did she become so important and why was she so important in the first place? At high school, they had barely talked. But now, it was as if he couldn't make it in life without at least a word from her.

"Could it be that... That I like her?!" He wondered

Was he allowed to like her in the first place? He knew Elora was gone. Death seperated them. And she'd want him to be happy again. He could still remember Lelia's words after they had coffee with Amerei. He recalled his father's words about not crossing the "dating again" option.

"But... Do I like her or is it because she's the first woman I've had a good connexion with ever since I was widowed?"

He didn't want Amerei to be some bandage on a wooden leg. Or to be an illusion of love. She deserved better. He had been numbed for so long, maybe he was mistaking friendship for love as well. And despite knowing that his family, his loved ones, wanted him happy, it still felt wrong to him to even consider building a new life with someone, to enjoy living with that person while Elora was slowly decaying in her grave. He knew he was wrong to think that way, but he couldn't help it. That was beyond his control. Everything was a confusing mess. Less tiring that what he had experienced due to his burn-out. However, he wasn't sure he could do it. He left his phone on a counter, put the kettle on and after a few minutes, he allowed himself to settle down on his sofa, a hot cup of earl grey in hand, watching an episode of Supernatural.

He hadn't watched one in months.

 _XXXXX_

"Come on Ami! You're dying to, just call him!" Walda said as she was gently bouncing her son

Amerei sighed, her smartphone in hand, looking at Lancel's number.

"But what would I say? Maybe he's even sleeping!" She replied

"Ami, it's 8.00 pm..." Marissa stated

"Keep in mind he has been pretty sick and though he's better, he's still fragile! And he has a lot to deal with as well."

"In the evening? Amerei. Every man you wanted you got. Why is it so different with him?"

Marissa had a point. Lancel was different. He was on a different level. All the men she had wanted, she did get. She went for them, she seduced them, she fucked them. Of course, she also had her limits, her moral standards and she never rushed anything. She wasn't shy, and once set on what she wanted, she was determined to get it. But did she want Lancel? In that light? She knew she had that fondness for him, that she actually kinda crushed on him, and for once, her heart was stronger than her lust. But it seemed too early, it always seemed to early, and she had that strange desire to protect him, to spare him. And that was that weir chemistry between them as well, how well they connected, how they seemed to understand one another. She wanted to see him happy, genuinely happy, with a true smile, not the sad ones she had seen on his lips. He was handsome already, so she could easily imagine how gorgeous he could be if melancolia left him. He was pretty cute, there wzs no denying it and she didn't deny that she had wondered how well built he was down there. It had taken her to some sweet imaginary fantasies to use for relief. The discrete guys were always the most attractives. And he could use a friend. She'd gladly be his friend. Even if he'd put her in the friendzone later on. All she knew for sure was that she loved being around him. That she wanted to help him out. If she had managed to stand against her abusive parents, gaining Marissa's custody for her last year as a minor, how came that a phone call was so hard to give?

"Don't tell me you're actually in love with him?" Marissa wondered aloud

In love? She didn't know. But she did care. A lot. She took a deep breath. She did promise him to try and be more in touch with him after all. She had never broke a promise, except to her parents, but they didn't count. That would be her justification. At least, people would believe that, except her two little sisters. She dialed his number. To her relief, he picked up quickly.

"Hi, it's Ami. How are you?"

"Tired but fine. We moved back in today."

"That's great news! How did it go?"

"Good, though Lelia is exhausted."

"Poor thing. I was wondering, would you be up for coffee again? I know a place Lelia would love, it's full of games and it's easy to have an eye on the kids."

Walda and Marissa shared a smile as Amerei hung up after a few minutes, a huge smile on her face.

Even if it was friendly, with a five years old as a third person, she was having a new date at last.

 **To Be Continued**


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 13**

The place Amerei had told him about was amazing. Lelia was able to play as much as she wanted while he could relax, enjoy and still be able to have her in his sight. He didn't know who came up with such an idea but it was brilliant. It was brilliant because it was simple and obvious, and very often the obvious things were the ones people missed. Lancel remembered how he felt after he had hung up a few days ago, when Amerei had called him. He had smiled and had felt strangely excited. He hoped it was a sign he was indeed further on the road of perfect recovery. He hadn't felt that desire to go out with another human being than his daughter in forever. Amerei was wearing a short sleeved white top with some laces details on the top, some skinny dark blue trousers and short black boots that stopped around her ankle. She had a brown jacket to complete it. If she had some make-up on, it was very light and Lancel even wondered if she was wearing any. Her hair was put in a ponytail. She was playing the natural card and it suited her well. It gave her a new aura, a new side. He was amazed she could rock so many styles so flawlessly.

"I'm glad you called me." He said

"I'm glad you answered." She replied, smiling before reporting her attention to Lelia

The little girl was happily playing in a pool full of colourful balls, getting along well with the other children around her. Lancel adored hearing his daughter's laugh. When he was down, sick, depressed, hitting rock bottom, that simple sound was enough to fill him with determination and strength. She was his little cub and whenever he was sinking, she managed to make him be a full lion again, ready to roar, with her chuckling.

"How does it feel like, being a parent?" Amerei asked

Surprised by this sudden question, he looked at her She was still watching over Lelia, her thumb playing with the cove of her tea cup. Her entire being seemed unchanged but he could notice, deep down in her eyes, something. Something hurtful. Something sad. It was almost as if he had looked in a mirror. He knew that sparkle all too well, it was still in him despite the years. He assumed it was because of her parents. Merrett and Mariya Frey had been abusive with their three daughters. Their son Walder was spoilt beyond belief due to the fact that he was the boy they had longed for. Nothing their girls did was good enough. Amerei was a slut, Walda was a pig and Marissa painfully bland. Just because Amerei was a moden woman who had embraced her sexuality with pride. Just because Walda was fat but had found love with a man older than she was. Just because Marissa was shy and discrete. While their son was worse that Joffrey on some points. He knew Amerei had won Marissa's custody for herlast year as a minor. Her relationship with Willem had surprised many of them, but it was genuine. Lancel couldn't help comparing them to his own parents. Back in her days, his mother had been just like he had been: shy, awkward, modest. Despite the age gap, a true love came between his father and her. And they balanced each other well. He brought up the lioness hidden inside of her, he made her feel beautiful and special, she gave him what he had craved ever since his own mother died, leaving his father distressed and the pawn of venal women:

A stable and loving family.

That was how he interpretated the thing hidden in her eyes. While she knew not everyone was like her parents, she was wondering how parents felt towards their duty to their children.

"It depends on the person." He diplomatically replied

"What does it feel like to you?" She asked again

"Like the most beautiful chance I've been given."

She stared at him.

"Parenthood is an adventure. But when I see my daughter, I wouldn't trade her for all the gold in this world. My life had meaning before, of course. But she offered it a new and powerful meaning. The chance to raise a new wonderful being in this universe."

"That's beautiful."

"I must sound so corny and cliché."

"Helpless romantics can be attractive."

"Not many of us remain here though..."

He seemed lost in a memory and Amerei bit her tongue. He was certainly thinking of Elora. She was mad at herself for making him remember. She knew she did nothing wrong. She couldn't always predict what word of hers would trigger his brain. But, she was also mad at herself because she was feeling jealous. She was jealous of a dead girl because her widow was thinking of her while they were talking, after a sentence pronounced. She felt pitiful. She didn't even know why she was jealous in the first place. However, she admitted she had been clumsy with her flirt. And could she try a move on him? After all this time, he was clearly still in love with his wife, he was mourning her so hard that his friends left him, he tried his hardest to forget but he took him in his teenage self's bed, sick and unable to care for his daughter, much to his shame. Maybe, to him, they were just forging a friendship, nothing else. She had to take it slow. Or she'd lose him and to lose his friendship and the respect he had for her seemed horrible just thinking of it. She let it slide and she went back on trying to take his mind off, talking about people they knew in high school, about places she knew that Lelia would love, they joked, they passed time.

The fact that he told her he hoped they'd meet again, because he had a great time, was the best reward she could have hoped for.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel kissed his daughter's forhead as she was getting asleep easily, tired by her day out. He thought of the surprise he had when he came home. A letter from his estranged cousin Tyrek. Tyrek and him had beeen really close when they were children, even after his father died, but when Lancel lost his wife, Tyrek hadn't been there for him like he had been when his uncle Tygett passed away. He had been part of those accusing him of secretly relishing in his misery after Elora passed away, because it got in people noticing and caring for him. Just because he couldn't cope as well as others. His letter was genuine. He had learnt about his illness. He wrote he was sorry he let him down, he didn't expect him to forgive him, but his time away gave him time to think and to grow up. He just wanted him to know he was sorry. The gesture had touched Lancel more than he wanted to admit. His phone buzzed. Ami had written him. She thanked him for their day together. He smiled. He didn't know if he was ready to move on with someone else, but he loved spending time with Amerei. She was beautiful on the outside but most importantly on the inside.

He couldn't wait until their next shared day.

 **To Be Continued**


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 14**

Lancel was happy that it was time for the school holidays. Even if it wasn't his fault, he had missed so much with Lelia when he had been sick! Sadly, it was raining, so they couldn't really go out, but they had managed to find something to amuse themselves during the bad weather. He thanked the Seven he had a daughter who enjoyed creative hobbies. Sure, he and Elora had introduced her to that and always encouraged her creativity but there were children who simply didn't like it. However, Lelia seemed to like it enough, so it was rather easy for him to find activities to keep her entertained for a while. The cookies they had made were cooling down and she was quietly sitting, focused on her colouring book, leaving Lancel time to think. He looked at Amerei's number, unsure if he should call her again. He couldn't help thinking back on her words when they last had coffee together. Something had happened, he was sure of it. He wanted to help, he really did, he wanted to return the favour. She had been there for him, the best she could, when he wasn't well. He was a Lannister and Lannisters always paid their debts. It made him so mad that he was powerless when she was hurt about something. She had managed to make him feel a bit more alive, heck, he dared even say he felt more like a man. She had managed to bring the man in him to begin to rise again, to coexists peacefully with the dad in him, just like they used to before. But was he the right person for her to open up about something that pained her? How could he pretend to be that man? He could call her, true, for anything, true, but that? How presomptuous! He surprised himself by the depth of his feelings about it. He was upset about her being possibly sad more than he imagined. He cared to a point it was even scary. What was she to him? A friend? Yes, that was beyond dispute. Amerei Frey was a good friend and was on the way to become one of his truest and greatest friends in his whole life. But there was something more, something he couldn't identify. It bothered him not to know what it was. The doorbell rang, taking him from his mental investigation, much to his relief. He had a tendency of thinking too much for his own sake and health.

"Hey Lancel!" Janei happily greeted

She was accompanied by their mother. As soon as Lelia heard them, she ran to them to hug them both. As much as she loved living with her dad like they used to, she missed her grandparents and her aunt.

"Seven Macaronis, you are soaked!" Lancel commented

"Seven Macaronis?" Janei replied

"I never swear in front of children." Her brother smirked

He put the kettle on, hoping tea would help them feeling warmer.

"I wanted to make sure you had everything you need." Dorna explained

Her son smiled. That was so typical of his mother. And thus, he wasn't surprised to see she had brought home-made dishes for Lelia and him.

"We're getting there."

"I can tell, there are cookies."

"Want some?"

She took a bite and her face changed.

"Those are..."

"The ones you and I used to bake when I was a kid and with the twins when they were old enough."

"I used to do them all the time with my grandmother..."

"See, the legacy goes on. And I'm pretty sure Martyn and Willem will do the same with their own babies."

She had a tearful smile. She didn't think Lancel would actually remember. Just like she had never thought he'd do the same with his own baby.

"Daddy, look! Janei bought me a cross stitching kit!" Lelia suddenly exclaimed

"Made for children, of course. The needle is big and made of plastic. And it doesn't hurt." She quickly explained

"Janei. I trust you." He simply answered

Mother and son watched as the teenager was explaining the basic of cross stitching to her niece, the way her own mother taught her. Lancel smiled. Janei was a natural with children. From the corner of his eye, he could notice his mother looking too, but something was bothering her.

"Is everything okay?" He carefully asked, not too loud

"Yes..."

"So... Did she come out a long time ago?"

Dorna shook her head.

"About a month before you came. It wasn't easy for her, she was afraid to disappoint us."

After a small moment of silence, she added:

"Don't get me wrong. I'm proud of her. I'm very happy she understood herself and found her path so early in her life. Some people die without embracing who they were, having lived a life of bitterness , anger and self-hatred. It's just..."

She seemed to think of her words, of how to say them, for them to carry out her feelings.

"She's my only daughter. And like all mothers, I guess, I always saw her as a little princess who'd get married to a boy and have children. I must sound so awful..."

"No. You make sense. Children always surprise us. We think we know them and they take turns we never expected. Coming-out isn't easy on the family as well. You and Dad love Janei. You didn't shut her down when she opened herself to you both. Other parents of your age would have tried to kick the lesbian out of her."

"Gods, that's horrible!"

"See? What matters is that you care, that you love her, that you support her. That's more than enough. At least, that's what a new father in the fatherhood game thinks of that."

"Lelia is five, you're not new to fatherhood."

"You have four children, three are adults and the last is in the middle of her teenage years. You have more experience."

Dorna laughed.

"I should thank Janei."

She looked puzzled.

"Now, I have an excuse to get back into the cross stitching business."

Their afternoon was filled with laughs and good memories for the years to come.

 **To Be Continued**


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 15**

Lancel barely slept that night, unable to find a sleep without dreams. He had been thinking about Amerei a lot, much to his own surprise. How she had managed to become so important to him in such a short period of time still amazed him. But if it was his only issue, he would have been okay with it.

No, what made him so uneasy was the fact that his body continued to react to her appearance, and it grew worse after each meeting.

He knew he was a man, and that a man had needs. But he was surprised his libido kicked in so quickly after a long moment of slumber. After Elora died, he never had any desire, lust, or fantasies. He had been way too numb to even think about that. Time passed, the pain went away, though the guilt and sadness remained.

Still nothing.

Many assumed that, as he was considered handsome, he'd have some one night-stands. Some believed he looked at porn. Lancel actually did none of that and apart from the natural reactions due to cold, he never had any desires on the sex level after his wife passed away. It didn't feel right. He didn't want to have sex for the sake of it. He wanted to make love to the woman he loved with all his heart, and she was gone. Thus, he had been a chaste celibate for the past two years. But then, Amerei returned in his life and now, his body was waking up and he didn't know why. Yes, Amerei was beautiful. Yes, Amerei was sexy. Yes, she knew how to enhance those two traits. But why her? In two years, he had seen beautiful women and none of them had that effect on him. He had seen her earlier that day, for a new coffee. All Ami had worn was a tank top with a with bra underneath ( he had seen the straps of it ), dark jeans, and some brown high boots. Her hair was down and wavy, she had put some eye liner and her nails were black. That was all. And it had been enough for him. He felt ashamed. She was a true friend to him, a sobbing mess, she had been kind and patient and how did he repay her for that? By having dreams about her he shouldn't have. They were coming back more often and they were stronger in impact. Before, he could just close his eyes and force himself to sleep. Now, he had to fight the urge to ease himself, to control his own hands, after his mind showed him a half-naked Amerei flirting, toying with him, going even further, doing things he and Elora never even did together. He really was messed up. But he had to admit he didn't know what he truly felt for Amerei. She was a friend, no doubt about it, but it seems so light compared to all that she was for him. A friend, a saviour, heck, he could even say she understood him and knew him better than most people did, even from his own family. He became so dependant of her it scared him. He briefly wondered, much to his shame, if she was bothered the same way he was.

"Talk about vanity..." He thought

To even wonder if he had that type of effect on a woman he knew...

"The key difference is... She wouldn't be ashamed of it. She'd embrace it. God, I feel like such a child and an idiot to boot!"

He looked at the clock. It was 3.00 am.

The night was going to be long.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel took a quick look in the mirror. He looked tired, but other than that, rather fine. People wouldn't ask too much question, everyone was aware of his health's problems by now. They'd put his dark circles on that. Lelia was watching TV, waiting for him to help her with her zipper. She had been so excited for this day:

Nymeria's birthday party.

Her joy had made Lancel smile and forget about his issues. They seemed so trivial compared to his bundle of joy.

"I'm almost ready, Lelia." He told her from the bathroom

He heard her switching the TV off.

It was time to face the world.

 _XXXXX_

Lancel watched as Nymeria discovered the presents Lelia had picked for her and she had seemed pleased. The girl had a passion for perler beads, she loved doing these with her parents, so father and daughter went for several little boxes that would allow her to either follow a pattern or let her imagination guide her. Arya's belly was showing. As she was rather short and slim, she looked still early in her pregnancy while it was late enough for her to know she was going to have a new daughter. Gendry and her had decided to let Nymeria choose the name of her baby sister. She had picked Elaena. She had a passion for the history of the Targaryen family, having Targaryen blood in her veins through her grandfather Robert, and she loved the name. He looked at the children around Lelia and Nymeria. There was Sansa and Theon's son Donel, a jokester who knew his manners, black of hair with Sansa's blue eyes. He too was going to be a big brother soon. Robb and Talisa's twin sons, Rickard and Jonos. Arya and Gendry's friends, Lommy, Hot Pie, Syrio and Jaqen were also present. He could hear them talking about the future, their plans, they joys. He realized that he never really thought of the future. When Elora was alive, all they wanted was to be able to love each other and raise Lelia in peace, in their little corner of the world, maybe have some more cubs to dote over. And after Elora died, he actually didn't have any plans for his own future. Yes, of course, his main plan was to raise Lelia the best he could, to see her grow into an amazing woman, blossoming and happy.

But what of his own future?

He slowly started to undestand what his father meant. He also had to think of himself. Because once Lelia would be grown up and independent, he'd find himself alone and lost. He couldn't rely on his daughter's future only. He was a father. But he wasn't only a father. He was his own person. What would he do once Lelia would be able to find her way alone in this world? He had no idea. He felt completely lost, almost drowning in the emptiness of his brain and some kind of fear shook him from inside. What would he do? His mind briefly reminded him of Amerei. Yes, Amerei could be part of his future, she was his friend. But he had to find his own way. He felt like a scared child who badly needed to find an answer and quickly, as if the very fact that he'd have one would allow him to swim easier in the flood that invaded his brain. He tried to remain composed, the last thing he needed was to have a panic attack during a kid's party. He didn't even know why he felt like this. He never had those before, he knew the symptoms, but that was all. Amerei came, once again. He quickly excused himself and gathered his courage to call her, once outside.

"Hey, handsome!"

"Hi, Ami..."

He hoped his voice didn't scare her too much as he heard nothing but silence afterwards. It had been shaky and unassured.

"I... I think there's something wrong with me."

 _XXXXX_

Laying in his bed again, Lelia fast asleep in her own room, Lancel started at the wall before him. Talking to Amerei eased him. She didn't bring him any answers, but it felt good and comforting to have been heard without any judgment. She had immediately offered to come and help, even for the evening, so that he could relax while she'd care for Lelia. He sighed. So now, he also had to add a possible proneness to panic attacks on the list of his defects.

"I'm here for you. I have your back. You hear me? You're not alone, you never were, you never will be."

He smiled and closed his eyes. Another dream came. He was too tired to fight it, in both body and spirit.

He had rarely felt so refreshed in months when he woke up the next morning.

 **To Be Continued**


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 16**

It was a sunday and Lancel was still half-asleep in his bed. He could notice, despite his closed eyes, the change of light, he could hear the noises, he was simply still in the state of slumber where the body left the comforting darkness to face the brand new day, where it slowly adapted itself to daytime once again. He could hear Lelia. She was awake.

"I must have overslept... She's certainly starving..." He thought, forcing himself to move and leave the soft and warm embrace of his sheets

Lelia was excited. They were going to see her grandparents today. She always loved going to their house. But before Lancel could completely get out of his bed, his door opened, revealing his little princess, still in her nightgown, her sandy hair completely messy, a huge smile on her face. Her hands were joined behind her back. She was hiding something.

"Morning, Daddy!" She said happily

"Good morning, Lelia." He softly replied

She made her way to him and revealed what was hidden behind her. She gave him a little box, safely wrapped in a blue gift wrap. He recognized Janei's work, she was amazing at wrapping those.

"Happy Father's day, Daddy!" The little girl wished him

"Thank you, honey." He replied, kissing her forehead

He opened the box and discovered inside a handmade frame, heart shaped and made of salt dough. Framed inside, there was a cross stitch work, made on some blue aida cloth. The crosses wrote the word "Daddy", a bit crooked, but he didn't care. He was touched more than he had possibly imagined. Despite everything, his daughter loved him.

"It's beautiful, Lelia. Thank you." He managed to say, hoping not to sound teary

The last thing he wanted was Lelia to think she made him sad.

"Auntie Janei and Grandma helped." She explained proudly

"You three did an amazing job."

Lelia joined Lancel on her bed and father and daughter shared a hug.

 _XXXXX_

Despite the advanced hour, Marissa and Amerei were still in their pyjamas. It was their ritual, on sundays, they'd just go easy and relax. Marissa usually did her nails for the week. She was going for a red manicure with a gold stripe at the top. Amerei admired her patience. She enjoyed make-up too, but she lacked the patience her sister had. For her, it had to go fast. So one simple colour on her nails, a quick line of eye liner and she was done. They had chosen to go for a series marathon. They wanted to avoid the news as much as possible. They were all over fathers' day and they found it uneasy for them. Fathers' day had never been a good day for them, just a day of fear or of frustration. Amerei felt her phone buzzing. Lancel had sent her a picture. She smiled when she discovered Lelia's gift. It warmed her heart to know that there were fathers out there who genuinely enjoyed the little gifts from their offsprings. In a way, she wished all fathers were like Lancel, fathers who cared about their children, about what they liked, who wouldn't force them into a mold not made for them, simply fathers who loved their children and showed it enough for the children to never doubt they were loved. She was glad he was happy. He deserved to be spoilt. Especially after the hard moments he had to face, sometimes alone. He wasn't completely out of it, but he was on the right path.

"How's your man?" Marissa asked, seeing hr smile

"Lancel isn't my man." She quickly replied as she texted Lancel back, wishing him a happy fathers' day

" Ami. Save it. You can fool others, but not me."

Marissa stared at her with all the seriousness of the world.

"Lancel is on a higher level. You actually are in love with him."

"I don't know." The oldest admitted

Amerei did care a great deal for Lancel. More than she had imagined. To think that, in highschool, they barely talked, and now there wasn't a day where they didn't exchange at least one sms. He had touched her. Yes, he was no saint, but he didn't deserve what happened to him, not one bit. He didn't deserve to lose his wife, to lose his friends because they couldn't handle depression and grief, to believe he wasn't worthy of being a father, to believe he'd be better off dead. He was a man who tried, who tried so hard he almost destroyed himself and no one would have known because no one cared. Those who cared, he kept them in the blue to protect them, or because he believed he wasn't worthy of their love or help. While a man like her father was under the spotlight. That was so unfair. She wanted to care for Lancel, to protect him as well, to protect him from himself. He was his greatest foe. And she had to admit she was attracted to him. Of course, there was the physical level, he was to die for, but for once, it wasn't what attracted her the most. She was attracted by his personality, by his mind, by how he adored his child, by how he listened. She wouldn't be against another type of relationship with him. But could she really hope for better? He still loved his wife very much. And wasn't it shameful to try and hit on a man who was a bit weaker due to a long illness? They were friends, that was already amazing and she was glad they had managed to reach that point. But she could feel there was more. There was that connexion, that chemistry. Lancel wasn't just any other guy, or a crush. That was deeper, more meaningful. But was she actually in love? She didn't know.

"Lelia already loves you. Easier to win the dad, then."

"Lancel isn't a prize, Marissa!"

"See? You do care about him a great deal. You love the guy. Just admit it."

"I won't admit something I don't feel."

"Whatever."

Her phone buzzed again. Lancel hoped she'd have a good day despite the celebration, his phone remained open if she needed to talk.

The soft smile on her lips confirmed the obvious for her little sister:

Amerei was in love with Lancel Lannister.

 **To Be Continued**


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 17**

It felt weird to go out for coffee with Amerei without Lelia. For the first time, the two adults would truly be alone, as the little girl would attend school. Alone... While surrounded by strangers and sweet teeth. Somehow, Lancel feared this moment. He was ashamed of thinking so, but Lelia's presence made everything lighter and it gave them a topic of conversation. He doubted his own topics would interest a woman. He spoke and thought like the high majority of men. He couldn't help comparing Amerei and him to Charles and Emma Bovary. Him, so average, so powerless, so weak and her so glamorous, so cultivated, and he dared admit so sexy. He feared she'd find him boring without the fatherhood that framed his being.

"Elora loved you that way. Maybe Amerei can enjoy you as well." He tried to reason himself

When he saw Amerei entering the place, he felt like he had a rod in his stomach and could actually feel himself blushing. She was breathtaking. She wore a simple red dress that stopped above her knees, but it was tight and followed every line of her curves, fitting her body like a glove. The sleeves were short and it had a rounded collar, revealing the start of her cleavage. She wore no tights, no jewelry, she had black heels on her feet. Her hair was down and waving on her shoulders. Her make-up, if she had one, was used to the basic, he could only spot some eye-liner and maybe some mascara. She was a true vision and the only other woman who had that effect on him before was Elora.

"Hey there, handsome." She greeted warmly, smiling

Handsome? He didn't know, she had put an effort, he was just... Well, dressed like someone who dressed casually.

"Sorry I'm late... Marissa fell down the stairs pretty badly." She apologized

"Ouch. Is she okay?" He asked

"Yeah, she took it all on her elbow. It isn't broken but I had to fix her up."

She sat by his side and they ordered. She found it amusing, they always called their days out coffee time while he'd be on tea or hot cocoa.

"How's Lelia?"

"She's fine, though she's upset she can't see you."

"Aww. I love your little girl, she's amazing."

He nodded. But he could spot that sadness in her eyes again. He could feel she was genuine about her care for Lelia, that she was genuine that his girl was happy, her words were true. Yet, it was here and he couldn't understand why. He wanted to help, he yearned to help her, she did so much for him, he wanted to pay his debts.

"Are you okay?" He carefully asked

Amerei looked at him, she could see his concern, a concern he had noticed before, she had felt it when he told her what parenthood was for him. He had noticed. While no one, not even her sisters, did. Not that she blamed them, they didn't know, but even them hadn't see what he was seeing. It touched her to know he cared, just as much as it was unsettling. She wasnt used to be put first and she couldn't actually remember if she had already been put first, even once in her life.

"I am. It's just..." She hesitated

He kept looking at her but she felt he wouldn't force her to say more.

"In an ideal world, my child would have been Lelia's age." She managed to say

Lancel's mind started to race. Her child? He wasn't aware she had a child, she never mentioned that fact. A horrible thought came to him. Maybe Amerei had a child who died in infancy? He shuddered, he couldn't imagine that, he tried to place himself in her shoes, Lelia sleeping forever next to her mother and he felt cold, void, destroyed. He prayed the Seven Gods that he was wrong.

"Five years ago, I lost the baby I was expecting." She finally confessed

His hand automatically reached her to gently squeeze it.

"My fiancé Pate had just died and I realized I was pregnant. It was an arranged marriage, done by my parents, but he was respectful and affectionate enough. His family was friends with mine, and the old hags believed it'd calm me down. I was actually happy to be expecting, even if I knew it'd be hard. But I knew I could do it. I kept this to myself, I wanted to be sure to carry to term, and to keep this a secret for me to enjoy for a few weeks. But, three weeks after I learnt I was pregnant, I lost the baby... And I was alone when it happened. I can still feel the pain and the fear..."

She wanted to add she could still feel the desperation she had when she realized what was going on, and how destroyed inside she had been when she was told her child was lost. Lancel's grip had tightened around her fingers.

"You never told anyone?"

"You are the first to know about it."

She had never shared her pain with her sisters. Not because she didn't trust them, but why bother when they weren't even aware that she had been pregnant? Why make them mourn something unknown.

"I always wonder what gender he was. For some reason, I always see him as a little girl, a little me, that I would have spoilt like a princess. I can see her face, all the details. The mind is quite a twisted thing, isn't it?"

Lancel didn't know if he had to feel honoured. He was happy she trusted him enough to open herself to him, heck, he was the first oe to know of that deep wound in her heart. But while she stood in front of him, aching, he wanted nothing more than to make her smile again. He wanted to comfort her, to protect her, to make sure she'd never be hurt again. He fought hard not to hug her right there. And then, a sudden epiphany spread in him, all the questions that were tormenting him were answered, all the doubts vanished, the answer had been so obvious and it always was obviousness that was hard to find. All made sense. Why he cared so much. Why he felt so drawn. Why he was so dependant. Why the man was reappearing. Why he desired her so much.

He was in love with her.

He, Lancel Lannister, was in love with Amerei Frey.

How or why it happened, he didn't know, and somehow, it didn't matter. It felt so strange to know it. To know he loved someone again, the way he had loved a woman before. His father would laugh so much if he knew.

"I should have never asked." He told her. "I'm sorry."

"Don't get me wrong, I do love your kid, I..."

"I know. I understand."

She had a small grateful smile.

 _XXXXX_

How she came to end up in Lancel's home for dinner, watching Dora the explorer with Lelia, she didn't know. Lancel had invited her, surprising her, and his explanation was weird. Why would she be mad at him for wounding herself when she chose to? Though it touched her to see how he cared. He wanted her to feel better. Just like when she had helped him after he almost lost Lelia the way he lost her mother. Heck, he went as far as asking what she was wanting to eat! She went for pasta with salmon, knowing Lelia would be happy. It was slowly cooking, an amazing smell spreading, and sitting on the sofa, Lelia next to her, Lancel not far, it felt like home. It finally felt like home. Her family home was a prison and though she loved the flat she shared with Marissa, she only saw it as a place where she'd sleep and maybe fuck if she found a dashing hot stuff. But here, in this house, with a child who looked up to her, with a man who actually gave a damn about her as a woman, as a person, it felt warm, cozy, soothing. She didn't mind being seen as a sex toy, it gave her good memories, but she knew that, deep down, what she sought the most was love and tenderness, two thing her parents always denied her. Yes, she loved sex and sometimes, a good round for her money was enough to make her happy. But to feel special as a person, to be seen as a person, with her own feelings and thoughts, was brand new to her. It was nice. And she realized that it only happened with Lancel. Of course, with her sisters, she felt cared about. But with Lancel, it was so much stronger. She could see he wanted to protect her, to care for her, just like she wanted to do both for him as well. She could see herself in such a domestic life, but with him only. And then, she finally understood and blamed herself, why had she been so blind?

She wasn't crushing on the guy.

She was in love with the guy.

Maybe the only guy she could never have.

"He blushed when he saw you earlier." Her mind reminded her "You have a chance. Take it."

She wanted to believe they could be a thing. But for now, she prefered not to think about it, she'd think about that the following day, she'd rather focus on the present, enjoying that delightful moment:

An upcoming meal with an amazing friend and his lovely baby girl.

 **To Be Continued**


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 18**

Amerei had been quite surprised when she had received a message from Lancel, inviting her for lunch. Usually, she was the one to suggest such meetings, because he always had his mind elsewhere bewteen Lelia and actually mending his broken being. Lelia wouldn't be there, as her class was having a field trip. She understood that he feared being all alone. She remembered the words of a french philosopher, stating that Hell, it was the others. She thought he was wrong, Hell, it was one's self. No one was your worst foe than yourself. Maybe Lancel didn't trust himself enough to be all alone but didn't want to sound clingy or in need of a nurse. And from what she knew, the field trip was far away, they had to go with a bus. She could understand all too well. She looked at her wardrobe.

"I have nothing to wear..." She thought

That was a lie, her closest was filled with clothes, but she didn't know what to wear. She always wanted to look pretty, for herself, for her confidence, but when meeting Lancel, she wanted him to think the same. She decided to go for something simple. That wasn't a date after all. She chose an emerald green blouse, black trousers and some comfy green flats with a black ribbon. She let her hair down and natural. Just a little bit of eye liner and mascara and she was done.

She had expected Lancel to look down or unwell. However, when he opened, he seemed energetic, smiling and actually happy. It warmed her heart to see that part of him. It was shining through his shell more and more. On the counter, there was a drawing.

"Lelia was upset to miss you, so she made you this." Lancel explained when her eyes fell upon it

It was the little girl and her, as she had written their names on it, behind them a sun, everything had vibrant colours. The two girls were holding hands. It made her smile. She swore to herself to put It on her fridge and send a picture to Lancel, so his baby girl could see it. She adored his child, she was such a sweetheart! Lancel was raising her the best he could and he was raising her well. She briefly wondered how her child would have turned out, had he lived. Maybe it would have been a complete mess for her, and not the ideal world she had imagined, a lovely well behaved child. But whenever she saw Lelia, the bond between father and daughter, she thought that it wasn't so idiotic of her to believe it would have been just like she pictured. She carefully folded the drawing and placed it in her bag between two items, she didn't want it to be damaged.

"So, what is Lelia visiting?" Amerei asked as she was sitting down before inquiring if he needed any help

"No, thanks, I'm fine. The eco museum."

"Nice."

"And fateful. I met her mother there."

There was sadness in his eyes, but another kind of sadness. It was more about nostalgia than real grief and his smile, though small, was warm, remembering the moment fondly. He was moving on. That was a relief. Another thing she had noticed. He wasn't wearing his wedding ring anymore. It felt weird to see his slender finger without it, to her, it was as if he was nude. However, it was still on him. He had put it on a thing metal chain and he wore it around his neck, she had seen him putting it under his clothes, to avoid any contact with the food. He still needed it, he still needed Elora, and in a way, he'd always need her, she was his first love and the mother of his child, she was the one to introduce him to love, to sex from what she could gather, to fatherhood. She took a boy and she made him a man. She didn't feel any envy, she didn't even want to compete, not that she could, the battle was lost before being fought, she just hoped she could help him in other ways. She'd never be able to replace his first wife and that wasn't what she wanted anyway. When he brought the plates, she felt herself drooling:

Prawns with lime juice.

Her favourite dish.

How did he know?

"A little bird told me." He jokingly replied when she asked

"Are they called Willem and Marissa?" She teased

"Maybe."

She discreetly looked at him. He had regained some weight, his cheeks weren't so hollow anymore and they had some colours. He still looked tired sometimes, it was clear he was recoering from something, but he finally looked like a twenty-six years old man. She was glad. It hadn't been that long since the night where she ate with him, after she explained for her baby, but she was amazed by how strong her feelings got.

"To be fair, I had an idea when I invited you over..." He started, stuttering a little

"Gods, even his shyness is adorable!" She thought

He was looking down at his plate, his fingers playing with the top of his fork, clearly thinking of how to build his words.

"We spent a lot of time together." He continued

He didn't dare to look at her, she could understand why, Marissa had been the same when she had confessed her feelings to Willem.

"We became friends and with time passing by... I grew to care for you more and more..."

She could feel her cheeks burning.

"He... He's confessing to me?!" She wondered

"I..."

"Lancel."

He looked at her. She had decided to help him out. Poor guy, it was clearly eating him up.

"If you don't feel the same, reject me. Forget about it. And let's remain friends." She said

He looked confused until she locked his lips in a kiss. After the initial surprise, he closed his eyes and relax, warmth spreading in his being. It simply felt right.

Amerei had her answer when she felt his arms pulling her closer and when he sought her lips again.

 **To Be Continued**


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 19**

Lancel adjusted his tie once more, looking at his reflection in the mirror. It was his first date with Amerei, the first date he had after his wife left this world. And though he was genuinely happy to be able to go out with Amerei, he felt stressed. By many things. He was scared, like a little boy who would go on the very first date of his life, much to his shame. Lelia was gently humming in the living room, colouring with her grandmother. Dorna had agreed to watch over Lelia for the night, Kevan and her all too happy to see their son finally moving on and living again. The memory of him announcing his new relationship to his family made Lancel smile. Lelia was at school and he was visiting. He had shyly asked for the babysitting. And once asked why he needed a hand, he had admitted that he was having a date. Willem had let a cheerful "Yay! Finally!" go out, Martyn was smiling and his father fetched a bottle of champagne. It had made him blush back then, but now it was amusing. He tried to put himself in his father's shoes. His son, who had vowed he'd never love again, had changed his mind and was trying to be a man again. He left his room and his mother went to him.

"You look handsome, Lancel." She smiled

"Thanks, Mom."

He was wearing a dark grey jacket with matching trousers. Underneath his vest, he had a light grey waistcoat, a white shirt and a light brown tie. He had black and polished shoes on his feet. He had wanted to take Amerei somewhere fancy for their first night out, he wanted it to feel, if not magical, special.

"Thanks again for watching over her." He said, looking at his child

"You're welcome."

"I know I shouldn't feel that way but... It feels wrong to me. Don't get me wrong, I do want to go. But to leave her behind, while I'm out and having fun... And to have you, or anyone from the family, do what's my duty."

"You are not leaving her behind. You entrusted her with a guardian both of you know. She's in her walls, with someone she trusts enough. Leaving her behind would be you going out, leaving her by herself for the night, not caring about what happens. Here, you had your daughter cared for, her food is ready, everything is ready because you planned it and prepared it. And you are not running away from your duty, you were responsible enough to ask for help. So, you go out and you impress your girl."

Lancel smiled.

"I think I've already impressed her."

"Impress her more then. Go out, have fun and come back with stars in your eyes. Or else, I'll be very upset."

He laughed and went to kiss his girl before he left.

"When I'm home, I'll kiss you goodnight." He promised

"You look like a prince, Daddy." Lelia said

"And you are my little princess." He replied

 _XXXXX_

Amerei checked herself in the mirror on last time, adjusting her dress and her hair. She knew Lancel was taking her somewhere fancy and she didn't want him to fel ashamed by her appearance. When she had gotten after their first kiss, she had been on cloud nine for hours and her dreamy look had make Marissa cheer. She knew that Lancel would take it slow, something she approved of actually. It was already a miracle that he kissed her back, that he allowed himself to love again, that he granted himself the right to try and build a new relationship. Taking it slow could be fun.

"How do I look?" She asked Marissa as she walked to the living room

She had went for a sixties look with a pale pink dress that stopped under her knees. It seemed to have several layers as the superior petticoat seemed made of a lighter fabric, like gauze, while the bottom layer was opaque and heavier. A discrete belt, matching the dress's colour, was making a seperation between the bottom and the top. The top of the dress seemed shiny and had discrete flower decorations on it, still made with the same colour, to blend in and to give some texture. It was short sleeved, they stopped a bit after the birth of her shoulders. It had a v collar that revealed her cleavage in a discrete and delicate way. She wore heels on her feet, with a pointy end at the toes and a strap that linked the ankles to the top of the heels. They were beige. She had put her hair in a high ponytail. Her make-up was very discrete. She had put a thin line of eye liner, some mascara, a pale pink blush and a matching lipstick.

"Ami. You're amazing. If he doesn't want you in his bed, I don't get it." Her sister replied

"We are not sleeping on the first date."

"Then, he'll masturbate to you tonight."

"Marissa!"

Marissa only laughed but deep down, she was happy. Amerei had never seemed so energetic in a while. That Lancel was defnitely something. And when she saw how stunned he had been when he had discovered her sister, she knew he was definitely going to enjoy a solitary night.

Her sister had that effect on almost every man.

 _XXXXX_

"I've always wanted to go to this restaurant." Amerei said as they were expecting their dinner

"I guessed so." Lancel replied

Amerei took some time to study him. She had always seen him in a casual style, and though he rocked it perfectly, seeing him dressed sor formally made her see him in another light. In a casual style, he was already handsome, but more on the cute side. Dressed like that, he was drop dead gorgeous and manly. No wonder Elora fell for him! She had great tatse in men! To think that months ago, Lancel was bedridden, sick and deeply depressed! She felt pride in knowing he was going out with her. Not anyone else. Her. They didn't say "I love you" to each other but they could feel it. Lancel was proving his feelings clearly enough. He cared about her, he tried to make her smile, he always had little attentions to make her feel special and that was all she could ask for. Someone genuine who cared enough. He handed her two tickets.

"You must really love me or you're a masochist. I know you didn't like the first one." She said

Those were cinema tickets for Fifty Shades darkers. He had seen the first one to please his wife, who had liked the books. She too had seen the movie and read the novels. She hadn't expected Lancel to actually remember those facts.

"Maybe I'm a bit of both?" He teased

"I'm sure this is an excuse for you to snuggle with me and kiss me in the dark while everyone is focused on the movie."

"Busted."

"Nice try, Lannister. Nice try. And nice future success."

"Bring it on, Frey."

 _XXXXX_

Amerei went home, dropped off by her date in front of her buildng, with stars in her eyes. For her, it had been the perfect date. Just a moment with the man she loved, enjoying pieces of time together. Christian Grey had seemed so trivial compared to Lancel Lannister, holding her close.

Yes, it had been the perfect night, with the perfect man, in a perfect world.

 _XXXXX_

When Dorna saw her son coming home so happy and dreamy, she understood he had an amazing night and smiled. He deserved it so much! He thanked her and went to kiss Lelia, who was sleepng peacefully, hugging her lion plushie, her thumb in her mouth. As he looked at her, he was certain of one thing:

There was always a light at the end of a tunnel.

Amerei and Lelia were his lights.

He prayed the Seven Gods to never turn them off.

 **To Be Continued**


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 20**

As he watched his daughter playing in the living room, Lancel took a deep breath. It had been a few months since Amerei and him started to date and they could feel their affection for each other strengthen and growing. Lelia was a smart girl and she was starting to understand that, maybe, her father had another princess in his life, maybe a queen, like her own mother had been to him. However, he needed to tell her, to explain to her, and a part of him was scared of her reaction.

"She loves Amerei. She'll be happy." He tried to reason himself

True, Lelia adored Amerei. But she adored her as a friend of the family.

"Remember her words to her uncles."

Those were the words of a five years old, she hadn't meant them on a lasting period of time. She loved Amerei as their friend but would she love her as a possible stepmother? It was already shaking enough for him, so for her, who was so little and sensitive to changes? He hated himself for it, for his negative side always coming up first, because he was so scared and stressed out. On that light, since teenagehood, he hadn't changed one bit. If Lelia was to reject Amerei and him being more than friends, he was ready to make a sacrifice. To sacrifice his own happiness for hers. She was his daughter. She came first. And he had been lucky enough to have found a woman who understood him perfectly. He wanted to call Amerei, to ease him up, but he couldn't always rely on her while facing hardships. How to tell Lelia? Would he find the right words? Would he sound selfish? Would he appear as trying to replace her mother? Uncounsciously, his fingers played with the wedding ring he wore around his neck. He could feel this wasn't going to end well if he didn't calm down. He forced himself to breathe, to drink something. As always, it would be over soon and all of his fears would have been proven void.

"Lelia, honey?" He called out

He hoped he didn't sound too sick or worried. This was a happy new after all.

"Yes Daddy?" The girl replied as she walked over him

Lancel showed her a chair, she sat down, he did the same, to be at her level.

"As you know, Daddy has been going out often these days." He started

"Yes, you went out with Ami." She explained

He nodded.

"Well, you see... Ami and I like each other a lot."

"I like you two a lot as well."

He smiled to that.

"I know you do. But Ami and I, we love each other differently. We love each other the way your grandpa and your grandma love each other."

Lelia stared at him with her big and expressive eyes, her face unreadable, which worried him.

"The way you loved Mommy?" She said in a low voice

"Yes. I love Ami the way I loved Mommy. We... We'd like to be a family. You, Ami and I."

She remained silent for a few seconds and Lancel believed she was upset.

"Are you and Ami going to marry?" She inquired

"If we feel like it, yes. But Ami and I don't want you to feel upset."

"So, is Ami my new mommy?"

"Only if you want to. We are not trying to replace your mommy. She was unique. She will always be your mommy."

It was awkward and painful, and what hurt him the most was that he wasn't able to see how she was dealing with those informations. Until she had a big bright smile on her face.

"I like Ami. She makes you happy. She doesn't speak on you, like the people when we do groceries. And she's fun! And she's pretty! She can be my new mommy."

Lancel felt as if a huge burden was taken of his shoulders and a wave of relief hit him, as he sighed and smiled.

He really had an amazing daughter and he wondered if he deserved her.

 _XXXXX_

The picnic had been Amerei's idea, to see how Lelia reacted to the two of them being more than friends. Accepting a sentence was a thing, living it was another. The weather was on their side as the sun was shining brightly, yet it wasn't too hot, nor too cold. Just perfect, with an agreeable breeze. Lancel watched as Lelia was on Amerei's laps, all too happy and proud to show her how well she could read. Amerei was a natural, her words, her moves, they all came so easily to her! He briefly wondered how their lives would have tuned out to be if she had her child by Pate. Would Lelia have accepted her new sibling as easily as she accepted the mother? And what of the child? Between a new sibling and an actual new father figure? He felt a relief beyond compare seeing that Lelia was okay with the idea of him loving another woman than her mother. She was showering Amerei with questions, questions she replied to patiently.

"When are you moving in?" The girl wondered

"Not before some time." Amerei laughed

"Why? You love Daddy, you love me and we love you."

"Aww. It's because of boring adult stuff. But they need to be completed. After that, we'll be free!"

Marissa's birthday was around the corner, as well as her graduation. She had been accepted into college and was eligible for several scolarships. Willem and her had decided to take the advantage of this change to officially live together. Amerei would find herself alone in her flat. Moving in with Lancel... It sounded sweet and from the little famly moments she shared with him and his little fairy, she knew she'd be happy. However, that was a huge step. For her, but also for him. Especially for him.

"Are you and Daddy going to marry?"

"We don't know yet."

"If you and Daddy marry, can I call you Mommy?"

Lancel bit his tongue, but it seemed Amerei, despite the initial shock, handled it quite well.

"You will call me the way you prefer. Mom, Mommy, Amerei, Ami... Whatever you like best."

Lelia seemed pleased enough until she looked at Amerei again.

"Are you and Daddy going to have a baby?"

Amerei burst out in laughter after a quick glance at her boyfriend, who had gone red, even more than the tomatoes on the plates.

"If the Seven Gods will it, Pumpkin." She managed to reply

"Of course they will! They bring babies to people who love each other like mommies and daddies. You will have lots and lots of babies!"

Amerei's laugh started again as Lancel was becoming even redder.

 _XXXXX_

"Oh! And Daddy has a girlfriend! She is beautiful and nice and funny! And she likesm e a lot!"

Facing Elora's grave, Lelia was talking cheerfully, something that had surprised Amerei. But it made sense, in a way. With the explanation Lancel had given his daughter about cemeteries, it was logical that Elora was able to hear her daughter from her grave. She found it sweet, how the little girl was still talking to her mother as if she was living still, how she was easing her about her, about Lancel. She quickly glanced at him. He was staring at the stone blankly, but his eyes were summing up all that he was feeling. Amerei knew he loved her, but she understood all too well that the wound he had in him due to Elora's death would never really mend completely. And she knew him enough to understand that he certainly felt guilty because of it, as he had found her. His right hand was playing with his wedding ring, hanging around his neck. Certainly a tic. If it eased him. She prefered that to what he went through. She gently took his left hand and squeezed it, as a sign of support. He stopped touching the ring and quickly apologized.

"I'm not mad, Lancel. For all I care, you could even still wear it around your finger. I understand. I just want to help you."

They focused again on Lelia, explaining to her mother that she missed her, but she was happy because everyone was nice to her, and that people told her a lot about her. And as Lelia was saying goodbye, Amerei and Lancel felt a small and warm breeze on their cheeks. Both of them liked to think that, from the Seven Heavens, Elora was blessing them.

 **To Be Continued**


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 21**

Lancel still could not believe that his sister and his parents had offered to keep Lelia overnight so that he could have longer dates with Amerei. And while he knew they were doing this on their own free will, while he knew he was being a decent parent by leaving his daughter with guardians they trusted and knew, a part of him couldn't help feeling guilty about it. Lelia, however, had been extatic and excited, all too happy to spend an evening with her grandparents and her aunt, just like she used to when her father and her had lived with them, until he had been well enough to go home. Deep down, he assumed that his parents enjoyed having their granddaughter over, she was their only grandchild. Everyone was fine with the stituation, everyone but him and he guessed he was too hard in himself.

"Aunt Janei?" Lelia asked

"Yes, honey?" She replied

"Do you think Daddy and Ami will get married?"

Lelia had been speaking of them marrying a lot lately. And to be honest, Lancel could actually see himself proposing to Amerei, he could imagine themselves as a happy reconstructed family. And he was relieved to see that Lelia was opened to the idea, that she seemed to be yearning for it, it meant she liked Amerei enough to let her enter their little bubble. Amerei herself adored Lelia, so there wouldn't be any issue. But would she accept marrying him? Moving in, getting engaged, getting married, those were big steps and if they scared him a bit, he knew they certainly scared her more. He knew he had a heavy situation to offer to any woman: a child to deal with and his own issues, while he was trying hard to mend himself and to work on his flaws.

"If Daddy and Amerei want it, sweetie." Janei carefully replied, knowing her brother all too well

 _XXXXX_

Amerei had been as stunning as ever in that outfit of hers and for the first time in a very long time, Lancel had to control himself, feeling a familiar stir in him at her sight. She was wearing a short sleeveless black dress. It stopped above her knees, however it covered her chest, stopping at the birth of her neck. The fabric looked like a leather imitation. She wore opaque black tights, black boots that stopped at her ankles, with a small heel to make her higher. She had brought along a red coat that covered all of her dress, in case she was cold. Her hair was down and wavy, she had put on some eye-liner, some mascara and some lipstick whose colour drew towards something salmonish. She was absolutely gorgeous. And when she saw the effect she had on him, the fact that her simple appearance left him speechless, she smiled. While she was glad to know she could still make men fawn over her, she felt a greater pride in witnessing that her talents let the only man she cared about breathless.

"It's pretty flattering that you look at me that way everytime we see each other." She joked

"It's not my fault you rock every outfit you put on."

"You guilded tongue!"

"I mean it."

"So, I assume I would still look great in a trash bag."

"Men would be more inclined to recycle."

"You are in great shape tonight, Lannister."

"Bring it on, Frey."

They shared a smile as they waited for their order to arrive.

This night, just like all the ones they spent together, felt like a dream.

 _XXXXX_

Amerei was about to get out of Lancel's car, facing the building where she lived. However, she seemed hesitant. Something that surprised her boyfriend. If anyone was confident, it was Amerei Frey.

"Marissa is out for the weekend." She said

Lancel nodded. Willem had taken her away, so she could relax before the final chapter of her highschool life. Which meant that Amerei was all alone. And suddenly, he understood. She was afraid of being alone. She had gotten used to having someone waiting for her at home, but now, it would be just her and her walls.

"Want to come up for coffee?" She offered " Or tea. Or chocolate. I know coffee isn't your thing."

He smiled and followed her. Amerei's flat was more like a little studio, though he had to admit it was well designed. There was the first floor, with a bedroom, the living room, the kitchen and a second bedroom upstairs, creating two private areas for the girls.

"Make yourself at home." She said as she started to prepare their drinks

"You have a nice place." He commented

"You're being kind. I barely decorated it. I don't plan on remaining here."

He nodded, understanding. When she had freed herself from her abusive parents and managed to gain Marissa's custody for her last year as a minor, she certainly had to get a place with a bedroom exclusively for her sister. And once Marissa would be living with Willem, the place would be too big for her.

"Ami... If... If you don't plan on staying here after Marissa moves out... If you want to, of course... You could move in with us?" He shyly asked

She had a look he rarely saw on her. It was surprise, mix with a good dose of being touched and certainly a pincch of incertainty.

"You really want me to move in with you? I mean... I know Lelia loves me and I love her, but... I don't want people gossiping on you because of me. A sex shop cashier around a five years old."

"Everytime I go to shop with Lelia, I hear people gossiping about me being unfit to raise my child."

"Unfit?! Unfit?! For fuck sake, you're the best father I know of!"

Her anger warmed his heart.

"Yes, but you see, I was born with a penis. I can't possibly know how to properly raise a child. A child needs a mom to eat healthy, to do her hair, to help with homework, to repair toys or clothes... Especially now that he has resigned from his work, living on his wealth. Let them speak. They will always find something to say. The only thoughts I care about are from my family. My immediate family. Lelia's. And yours. I spent too much time worrying about what others thought. Still working on that though. I'm one messed up guy, after all."

"As I'm one messed up girl. We make quite the pair."

They sat on the couch, talking of everything and nothing, before deciding to watch a show. Everything felt right for them. Just being together, nestled against each other, sharing laughs and sweet times. After the show ended, Amerei kissed him right on the lips. He closed his eyes and enjoyed. He didn't think. His brain was numbed by his happiness. He was simply focused on one thing: making Amerei happy. This was why he wasn't surprised to find himself on top of her, laying on the sofa, his lips exploring her neck, her dress starting to reveal her body.

"Wait." She said

He looked at her.

"My bed would be comfier, don't you think?" She smirked

He smiled back and they made the journey to her bedroom, rarely parting their lips. Everything felt so right, so natural, and for once, he didn't regret his body reacting to her beauty. He didn't care anymore. He loved her, he just loved her so much! He yearned for her voice, for her skin, for her lips, for every part of her. And it seemed he was pleasant enough for her to enjoy as well.

The morning sun found them as naked as they were when they were born, Amerei nestled against his chest.

 **To Be Continued**


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Chapter 22**

The new of Lancel Lannister living with his girlfriend had spread quickly in the family as well as in the town. The fact that the said girlfriend was Amerei Frey added to the gossips. Despite everything, she still had that sexy aura and reputation and people wondered if Lancel had picked her out of loneliness rather than a sincere affection. Those words died ad soon as everyone saw how Lelia loved Amerei, how Amerei doted on the little girl, and the endless love in Lancel's eyes when he looked at her. She had brought him back to life and he had never looked so young in the past two years. Some questioned if Amerei was fit to be a mother, or if their idea of a home was well done for Lelia's development. After all, Lancel had decided to leave his job and it was Amerei who worked. Sure, he was drowning in money, and if she worked, it was more for herself than due to a need for cash, but what image would it give to the little girl?

"That her parents are modern parents, who don't do the sexism shit you are doing!" Joffrey had replied once, angry

The fact that he supported him starttled Lancel. He had stumbled upon him while doing groceries and they had come to chat, with him asking about Margaery and Joanna.

"How dare you?!" A woman snapped

"Yeah, how dare I suggest that a woman can be the moneymaker and a man enjoying household activities?"

When Lancel looked at him with a genuine confusion painted on his face, Joffrey simply shrugged. Before adding a few words, seeing that it didn't help.

"I know how it feels to be judged for who you love."

Margaery. Of course. She too certainly had her share of bad language when she was getting serious with Joffrey, the psycho Baratheon boy, while she was the golden child and only daughter of a wealthy and respected family. Joffrey had grown up so much, it was hard to imagine he had been a horrible teenager years ago. Now, Lancel was facing a young man who was aware he had issues but worked on them, because he loved and was loved back, accepted for who he was. Because he had an ally.

"And you kinda are the only one who didn't laugh at my face when I explained my fear of being widowed with a baby to raise."

The man had a smile before he invited his second cousin to a drink. They spent an enjoyable moment.

Years ago, Lancel was yearning to leave his crew.

 _XXXXX_

"Ami, you look perfect, I swear."

Lancel watched as Amerei was facing the mirror for the eleventh time that day, trying to find the small detail that could ruin her appearance. He grabbed her by the back and hugged her close.

"It will be okay, I promise."

Kevan and Dorna had asked to finally meet her. Amerei wanted everything to be perfect, she didn't want Lancel's parents to think she was unworthy of their baby boy, she didn't want Lancel to be ashamed of her. She had met parents-in-law before, but that was because it had been an arrange engagement. Here, Lancel had chosen her. While he could have had anyone, he chose her. The former Gatehouse. She had never regretted her lifestyle before, but now, this nickname was heavy to bear. What if her past prevented her to be with the man she loved, to be with his daughter she adored? She didn't want to break a family apart, she wasn't worth it.

"They already love you." He whispered in her ear

"Why?"

"Because you make me happy. That's all they want."

She didn't hide her surprise when she saw that Willem had brought Marissa along.

"It does seem we are going to be brothers twice, Lany." The man said to his older brother

At the end of the day, Amerei was considered as Mrs Lancel Lannister.

 _XXXXX_

Strangely enough, the question of marriage didn't pop up from the person everyone expected. Lancel had never really talked about it, already all too happy that Amerei had agreed to live with Lelia and him. He also knew that committement could be scary and he didn't want to overwhelm her with too many changes at the same time. She, who had lived alone and after with her sister in a flat, was now living in a house, with a man and his daughter and she had launched herself into her dream shop, supported by her boyfriend.

No, it was Amerei who dropped the bomb first, one night, nestled against him, after they had make love.

"Would you be against us being married?" She asked carefully

She assumed that marriage could be scary for Lancel, especially after how his own union ended. But the more she thought of it, the more it made sense to her for them to be married. Most importantly, they loved each other. They cared for each other. They understood each other. They already lived as husband and wife. Should they have children together, she wanted them to have their father's name. Because he deserved it. And she had to admit she wanted the world to know she was his and his only. She disliked her surname, it brought back to many painful memories she wanted to bury.

"I'd be the luckiest man on Earth." He replied, kissing her softly.

The following day, the Lannister family learnt that Lancel and Amerei were engaged.

Dorna had shown the same excitement she had when Lancel married Elora.

Her baby boy was getting married.

 _XXXXX_

"I declare you man and wife. You may kiss the bride!"

Against all the odds, Lancel and Amerei had decided to go with a small marriage, just them and the people they cared about the most. Amerei didn't feel at ease with the idea of a big wedding anyway. So, they opted for the most sumple thing: being married in front of the mayor and a small reception afterwards, for people to enjoy. Lelia had looked at her with her big expressive eyes and she seemed so happy to have her as an official member of her family! As soon as Lancel put the wedding ring on her finger, she had called the new Mrs Lannister Mommy, something that touched Amerei deep down.

Amerei Lannister.

The name sounded so right to Lancel's ear and he blamed himself for not seeing he loved her sooner. He would have been her husband way sooner. And to think that, a year ago, he still believed he'd never marry again, that he was responsible for Elora's death, that he fell ill... It all seemed like a far away nightmare, things that occurred decades ago. He could realize how foolish he had been in the first place. He didn't blame himself for it, he was depressed, and depression was an illness. He just hoped he wouldn' make the same mistkes twice.

Amerei in his arms, waltzing with her, he was confident he would never be on that path again.

 _XXXXX_

Looking at the stick, Amerei felt a wave of panic invading her. She and Lancel had only been married for three months and the pink sign was already showing. She was no fool, she expected to be pregnant at one point, as they didn't use any protection, but she assumed it wouldn't come so easily. After her miscarriage, she had had unprotected encounters and nothing had happened. She was as happy as she was scared. It was just... Too soon. Way too soon. What if they weren't ready for this? What if Lelia lived it badly? What if Lancel didn't want another child? Or what if he wanted one but couldn't give him one? She had miscarried once, she could miscarry again!

"I'm home!" She heard him say as he entered through the main door

She wiped her tears away, tried to put on a good face and went to meet him.

"Hey." She tried to sound cheerful

"You should have seen Lelia, she was all over Elaena." He told her, taking off his shoes

"Elaena?" Amerei asked, confused

"Nymeria's little sister." He replied, looking at her. "Are you okay?" He added, worried

She looked tired and anxious. Lancel knew she had been sick for the past few days.

"Ami, what is it?" He gently inquired as he faced her silence

She shakingly handed over her pregnancy test. As soon as he understood, his face lit up and he had the brightest smile she had even seen on his lips. Somehow, it eased her to know he was happy about it.

"Amerei, that's wonderful!"

She tried to nod. He kissed her with passion.

"Lancel, I... I'm scared... What if I lose this child too?"

He hugged her close.

"You won't lose him."

"But what if I do?"

"You won't be alone this time. We'll face it, together."

He placed his hand on her belly.

"Daddy already loves you."

She finally had a small true smile.

It became a genuine laughter when Lelia was jumping with excitement when told she was going to be a big sister.

 **To Be Continued**


	23. Epilogue

Disclaimer: Game of Thrones is D&D's property, after being GRRM's property. Or else, Lancel would be the happiest kid in Westeros, should it be mine.

Summary: Kill the husband and let the father be born. That was exactly how Lancel felt ever since his wife passed away two years ago, leaving him with their only daughter to care for.

 **In his daughter's eyes**

 **Epilogue**

"We have an important new to share." Lancel announced during the sunday barbecue held at his parents house

He glanced at Amerei, who nodded.

"Ami and I are going to have a baby." He revealed

Dorna had a squeal of delight and hugged both of them. Willem and Martyn raised their glasses to the future child and Kevan was beaming.

"With your luck, maybe you shot twins." Janei joked

"Wow, easy there!" Amerei said. "I am hoping for triplets."

The teenager laughed.

They couldn't wait to see the baby.

 _XXXXX_

Lance had asked it only once and let the matter to rest: should they tell Amerei's parents they were going to have another grandchild? Walda had let them know, they sent a thank you card and that was it. Amerei considered herself an orphan. He never brought it up again. Instead, he focused on the future nursery.

"We can use Lelia's old crib, you know." Amerei suggested

"You don't mind?"

He had thought of a brand new one as Lelia's had been chosen by Elora. He didn't want Amerei to feel like she was a replacement. She admitted she couldn't bring herself to even browse nurseries' magazine as it always reminded her of her loss. She wanted to be optimistic, their child would be with them, but a part of her always took her back to that day, and the hormones acting up didn't help either. And besides, Lelia's crib was adorable and in a good shape. It would have been a shame not to use it again. They went for unisex themes, as they wanted the gender of the baby to be a surprise. For Lelia, Lancel had knows he was going to have a girl, as Elora was dying to know.

"Can I help?" Lelia offered

"You can pick up the colours for the walls." Lancel suggested

She had picked a beautiful pale yellow and said that the sheet could be green, so that the baby would feel as if he was in a jungle, with cute animals.

"And lions! Lots of lions!" She added

"Lions?" Amerei laughed

"To protect him from the monsters under his bed."

"Makes perfect sense."

She found it even cuter when it was known that the Lannister used to hve a lion sigil back in 300AL.

 _XXXXX_

Amerei couldn't believe how easy her pregnancy was. Once the morning sickness had passed, she had felt none of the difficulties that could occur with expecting a child. She felt great, her back didn't hurt, she could move around easily. And she was more at ease as she had passed her first trimester, she had passed the dreadful moment where she had lost her first baby. However, she wondered if Lancel's look on her would change. He loved her as a woman. But once the child was born, would he find her still beautiful? Was he still finding her beautiful? She did all she could to prevent putting on too much weight, to prevent strecthmarks.

"Do you still think I'm beautiful?" She asked one night

He hugged her close.

The fact that she could feel his erection against her leg confirmed that she was still the hottest woman on Earth for him.

 _XXXXX_

It wasn't unusual for Amerei to wake up and to feel Lancel's body against her back, his hand on her growing belly. He loved them both so much it was scary sometimes. She wasn't used to it but it was pleasant. She could still see his face when he felt their child kicking for the first time. Lelia had been excited too, though she gently scolded her sibling.

"It's not nice to kick Mommy."

"It doesn't hurt. It's his way to communicate." Ami explained

"I don't like this way. No mommy should be kicked."

Amerei smiled. Lancel had raised her well.

 _XXXXX_

Lost in the books she had borrowed, Amerei sighed. She was trying to think of names for the child. She had asked Lancel if he had any desire about it.

"Amerei junior." He replied

"Really helpful, Lannister."

"You're welcome, Lannister."

It turned out he had one desire: for her to choose. He felt it was only fair she got to name their first child. It was Elora who came up with Lelia's name. And, sadly, Amerei had missed a chance before, he didn't want to rob her of that new opportunity. It had appeared that Lelia was the name of a Lannister ancestor. Elora had chosen it for that reason, plus the fact that it started with a L, like her husband's name. Amerei liked the idea of picking a name from Lancel's side of the family. She didn't want any Frey related thing in her child.

"I could follow her reasoning. She had great taste."

Lancel adored the two names she picked out.

 _XXXXX_

Valentines' Day was around the corner when Amerei felt her water breaking. Lelia was at school. That was it. The big day. And all of her fears came rushing back. What if something went wrong? What if the child died? What if she couldn't push hard enough?

"Everything will be okay." Lancel tried to ease her, kissing her forehead

He called Willem, asking if he could pick Lelia up after school. He immediately offered to take her in for the night.

Once at the hospital, Lancel was asked to wait outside. However, Amerei pleaded for him to be allowed to be with her. She assumed she had looked scared shitless as they allowed her request. However, she proved them it was no tantrum, just the fact that he was by her side eased her and felt calmer.

Dawn was cracking the sky, announcing the start of the day of Love, greeted by the wails of their baby boy. He already had some sandy hair, just like his father.

"He's beautiful..." Lancel whispered, amazed at the sight of his son, gently caressing his tiny fist with his finger

Amerei couldn't only agree. She couldn't believe it. They had done it. She was a mother. She managed to carry her son to term this time. She and Lancel had a child together. He was the most beautiful thing she ever saw. Lelia was brought in a few hours later and she was extatic, commenting on his little hands and feet.

"Our little Lyman..."

Everything was just perfect.

Married at 22, a father at 23, widowed at 26, remarried and a father again at 28. That wasn't how Lancel Lannister had planned his life to turn out. But when he thought back on it, he knew that, if given a choice, he'd make all the same choices again.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

 **The End**


End file.
